by Angie

Gender: Female
Age: 22
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: student
Relationship status: In a committed relationship
Religious affiliation: none
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual

A One Night Stand To A Yearly Hookup

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 years ago

How would you best classify this hookup? one-night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? This was a guy I had met through school that year, and there was immediately a connection between us. At the time we were both having relationship issues, and our feelings kind of grew from the mutual comfort we felt for each other. By the time we hooked up, while it wasn’t planned, there was no denying that we both found each other attractive. And, wow, he is one of the sexiest men I have ever met!

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Before we went out with some friends that night, we started drinking pretty early in the evening, and by the time midnight rolled around both of us were smashed. I’m not sure who instigated it, although I didn’t stop what was happening.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Through the night he had touched me while dancing, and we took it back to his place later, where we each went down on each other, followed by incredible vaginal sex. We moved from position to position, and I had never had sex that long with my boyfriend! During it, I felt elated and barely thought of anything but the sex and how it felt, but afterward I felt guilty, and while he wanted to cuddle, all I wanted to do was run out the door, but since it had happened and I was blacking out I stayed until the next morning.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I didn’t orgasm, he did.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Unfortunately being that drunk didn’t lead to a smart discussion, but we talked about it the next day, and he had been recently checked and I was on birth control.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Alcohol, relationship problems, incredible lust for one another.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? It was my first and only time blacking out from alcohol consumption.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I basically left in the morning after getting some breakfast with him, and I felt a stronger connection with this guy, but at the same time, no real relationship would ever work with him. About a year later, we hooked up again, and the sex was still amazing and the attraction never left, but our friendship kind of disappeared because I couldn’t get over the guilt of cheating.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A lot of my friends supported me when I told them, and helped me come to terms with my actions. I’ve finally forgiven myself for cheating, but not regretting it because of the connection I felt with this guy after 3 years.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual, and I don’t regret that it happened, but it probably wouldn’t have that night if we hadn’t been wasted.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No, even though it was wrong, it helped me come to terms with a lot of things, and I still have a lot of feelings for my friend.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best: The connection I felt with him and my confidence in my own sexuality
Worst: Cheating and not being able to get over it.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

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