by Art P
What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 66
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What country and/or city do you live in? Hilo, Big Island, Hawaii
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Landscaper, chef, lover
What’s your current relationship status? Developing a network of committed lovers
Religious affiliation: Spiritual view of the web of life
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? I am not “gay” though my playmates are all men these days
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Strong, mutually caring male
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Omg way over 100
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? First one
A Quickie – For Us!
How long ago did this hookup happen? This week
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? This partner is a handsome, older man from an Americanized indigenous culture. He’s a special-ed teacher, married to another man for over 25 years. His husband has developed ED (which he’s not doing anything about -?) and this unspoken problem in their sex life has sent “Lewis” in search of undisclosed sex outside their relationship. For this reason, and his sensitive social profile, we “only” have the most amazing, connected sex as I have ever had with anyone.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met online on the gay hookup app Scruff. Lewis contacted me with a WOOF, I guess after reading my thoughtful and sexy profile there. I have found, on Scruff, the sex, short or developing long term, is usually better if a ‘bottom’ contacts me instead of vice versa.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Lewis and I have had this deeply satisfying sexual and in-the-moment emotional sex – only relationship for going on a year. Time was tight for him this instance (meaning only a couple of hours). I was struck this time how, after a couple of clothed hugs and kisses, we each went to ‘our’ corner of our usual space and removed our own clothes, to get down to business. Our skin-on-skin and flesh-in-flesh always provokes a “10!” for each of us (ok, in peak moments a 12, 15, 50, 100, on a scale of 1-10.) We did oral with every appendage and opening (he’s the best sword swallower I have met yet), and he seems blown away by the way I lovingly relish eating his ass before, during and after penetrating deep inside him (no condoms, I’m on PrEP and know I’m negative, I’m the only other one he has sex with.) Because I have a very large penis Lewis has learned to handle, we explore places and sensations inside of him that I can say are unique for each of us, and each time. (For instance, rubbing his sigmoid sphincter with the head of my penis drives both of us fucking crazy!!) Though we played with several positions, as usual, the most satisfying for each of us seems to be face-to-face with total eye contact, sharing breath, kissing, with all these other fantastic sensations going on in the rest of our bodies. When he’s riding my cock, I am helplessly so turned on I cannot stand it and can’t (won’t!) do anything about it! I reflected verbally how I could feel my cock swelling inside him with his masterful movements and excruciated facial contortions. Because I knew he had a meeting he could not be late for, I wrapped things up after about an hour with some particularly strong thrusts imitating ejaculation while he masturbated to ejaculation. That always helps him blast a huge load! I was so stimulated and satisfied I did not need to ejaculate, and that was just fine this time (given the time constraint.) Even though I lick his beautiful butt clean he still cleans up with towels, lol. We rather hurriedly dressed this time after, without some usual holding and chit-chat, and I left first, with another huge smile. Our sex is always so amazingly satisfying for each and both of us, we acknowledge Christmas break is coming up and there will be further opportunity for more frequent exchange of gifts. Ahhhh!
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We will definitely be getting together ongoing and indefinitely!
Who could ever imagine what a sexy fox this guy is in his street clothes?!?
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Discussed STI testing history, Exchanged recent STI test results, I am on PrEP and get tested every 3 months to remain on the Rx
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, To feel more confident, Power / Dominance, Submission / Relinquishing power, It was easy / convenient, Intense connection through being utterly present with another human being
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Here, and I am broaching Lewis and my relationship with another, new lover (as I do not intend to have just one relationship like this!)
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How we could tailor this particular experience to hit all our high notes in somewhat limited time for us.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Lewis felt bad that his meeting was the reason we had to cut things relatively short, and that he had ‘kicked me out.’ I totally understood and agreed to this time constraint beforehand. I would have loved to keep fucking him for another hour, finally blowing my load. Having developed the distinction between orgasm (which I had a couple times) and ejaculation, and driving him crazy, I am not complaining this time lol.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I have a couple married bf’s whose committed long-term partners have lost interest in sex (for physical reasons they aren’t doing anything about), while they themselves remain highly rewarded by and gifted in giving sexual pleasure. So our casual sex is fulfilling a deep need and skill for each of us. And I believe for the race and the planet ????
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I have not been talking to lovers about other sex partners I have, though I think that is obvious (I have maybe half a dozen regular partners in the course of a few months. ) I need to discuss this explicitly with a newly single guy, who seems could turn into a permanent tribemate. I am not dropping Lewis for any other person or situation!
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Someone in the comments on the TED-X talk that pointed to this site said the difference between sex in a committed relationship and casual sex was like eating a full meal or eating pizza. I think that summarizes a lot of the social American attitude about casual sex, completely mischaracterizing it as a poor, partial substitute. For me, I spend hours planning the menu, prepping the courses, cooking up a symphony of smells and sights and tastes, and then relaxing and struggling and enjoying the sex with my partners. Every time, with everyone, at least after the first time and we establish we are both sexual gourmands. There is very little social pressure in this island culture to be or do anything in particular (about sex or anything), it’s very Live and Let Live, and that’s why I live here!
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think this is potentially a great outlet for people with a “healthy” interest, experience and skills with sex (mindset, communication skills, sense of adventure and ability to choose risk-taking, ability to endure and encourage extreme pleasure /hormones /bio-chemicals/etc.) I was sadly reminded, in the TedX Talk, that juveniles may not have developed all these skills and capabilities yet (for instance, substituting a drug haze for extremely sharp connection and presence with another human being). I believe destigmatizing sex, like with this project, can only turn Great Sex into the personal, racial and planetary Healing Art it’s capable of being.
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