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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 32
What’s your race/ethnicity? Hispanic / Latino/a
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Monterrey
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Medical
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 3
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

A strange fantasy

How long ago did this hookup happen? a few days ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met this guy on Tinder and quickly felt a spark. We talked over the phone about our expectations and seemed quite similar (just sex, maybe a friendship). We exchanged some pictures and talked about meeting the next day,
He was quite handsome to me, I loved the way he talked and overall seemed quite fun

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The next day we met on Tinder we agreed to meet at a Starbucks after work but many things happened on my ride there and I arrived 1 hour later, he was a bit disappointing and quickly went walking towards his car and asked where I wanted to go then. He drove a few miles downtown and started kissing me and touching my boobs and that made me wet, I wasn’t sure to go to a motel but that definitely made a point so I told him where to go exactly and we went to a nearby motel

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I got undressed rather quickly which seemed to take him out of surprise as he was a bit slower, but then quickly caught up and told me to give him oral sex which I did, it felt great, so sexy and fun. Then he told me to lean over in a dirty way and before I did that I gave him a condom and watch as he put it on. So I was on all four during a few minutes and he kept asking me if I wanted another man to join, I told him not now , he said obviously not now, another time or that there was this place we could go to where I could be bang ganged I told him I wasn’t interested. During all this time his hand was firmly on my head to the point it felt too heavy and I took it off. He did that again a couple times getting the same response from me. Then I definitely told him to stop and when I looked the condom had slipped.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He went to the bathroom and I was shocked…he told me not to worry as he had the vasectomy done years before since he “didn’t want any problems” ….still I took some time to recover… he told me if I was going to stay there… I said no, obviously. I put on my clothes and he drove to a street nearby so I could catch a cab. I felt awful and guilty and worried I started thinking about what to do I talked about it with an ex he said I had been really dumb and actually ended up having sex ( i know! my hormones were driven me crazy) I decided to put in the past the worst of what had happened. The next day I resume our conversation ( with the stranger) asking about the place he mentioned (it was a swinger club and actually my husband and I had been interested in join) and since I asked twice the name of the place he said I was too desperate and then blocked me and never receive my calls.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, I don’t know if my partner was on any (other) method

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Submission / Relinquishing power

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My ex…. he said I had been quite dumb by letting the guy take the control. But actually ended up having sex

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat

Why do you regret this hookup? Not taking more precautions, letting my hormones call the shots without taking more security measures

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It felt great (at the moment) to been submissive

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The condom slipped :S I just hope not to get an STI or get pregnant

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I’ve realized being driven by my hormones can take me in directions I wouldn’t expect and that I need a previous foundation of confidence to engage with people in a sexual way

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I had a conversation with my husband about swinging and he actually agreed and now are making plans in going and what we could do there and we’re putting limits and rules to the experience so we can experience more together It actually made us closer

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think its not such a good idea and it’s not for everyone. If done it should be with extreme cautions since the consecuences can be too big to handle.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Its a great idea to know people’s real thoughts on the subject

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!