What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 55
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Campbell, California, USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, Ph.D., JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Software Engineer
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Straight monogamous
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Two. Three, if you count this one.
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
A Strange Woman Propositioned Me!
How long ago did this hookup happen? Six years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Very Erotic Encounter
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was a well-dressed, middle-aged woman, white, and was most likely married. She had an aura, an air, of being wealthy.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It began in a mobile phone store. I was looking to get a new phone for myself and update the family plan, and she came in to have her phone repaired. There was only one employee, and he took her phone in the back to do whatever it is they do to fix them. She and I started talking, don’t remember what — just small talk. She then asked what my wife and I liked to do for fun, and I replied that we were part of a cooking club of ‘foodie’ parents at our kids’ school.
Then, she corrected herself, saying, “No, you don’t understand. I mean what do you do for *fun*?”, stressing the ‘fun’ part. I kind of understood what she meant, but wasn’t sure; I mean, women don’t talk that way to strangers, right?
Then, the guy came back in with a loaner phone for her and told me he’d be right back to help me.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Once the employee was in the back room again, this woman — I don’t even know her name — looked me in the eye and said, “Do you want to go somewhere and fuck?”
Do you want to go somewhere. And fuck.
I was completely gobsmacked. Speechless. I couldn’t make my mouth form words to say yes. Or no.
I managed to stammer-out something about having to pick my kids up from school. Still dumbfounded.
And then she was gone.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now?
I felt alive!
I’ve never had a one-night-stand. I’ve never had casual sex. I’ve never had sex on a first date. I’ve never picked someone up successfully. I’ve never had a woman try to chat me up, or ask me for my number having just met me. I’m not good-looking enough to have dated that many women (I’ve only dated women I’ve met socially over time through other friends or on teams or organizations). My only other sexual experiences have been with my wife (we had sex together for the first time a few months before we got engaged), and I made out with (open mouth kissing, and felt her breasts) a girl in college while we were dared to spend time in a closet.
This was the first time a woman — anyone — took interest in me, sexually, just because she felt like it, and thought I was attractive. For the first time, in my late forties, I felt alive and on top of the world.
I felt like I was as big as the universe.
And at the same time, I felt very very small. Like I just woke up, and something special passed-by and I missed it, and no-one had bothered to wake me. All these ‘what-ifs’ went through my head: What if I had gone with her? What if I had asked for her number? What if I had asked other women for their numbers? What if I went out and tried to meet someone new — had an affair?
What if I actually could be desired — sexually?
I’ve had so little experience, and all my other attempts when I was younger were so fruitless … and now I’m so middle-aged… I don’t think I could bear to know the answer to that question if the answer is “no, I am not desired.”
But for that moment. And for a week afterward. I felt absolutely alive.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, I didn’t want it but was unable to stop it
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Not at all
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? It just happened out of the blue. I did not seek it out, and was powerless to respond.
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I did not tell anyone about it. I don’t think anyone would believe me.
And part of me wanted to keep this a very special secret just for myself.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I felt *****ALIVE******!!!!!!!!
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I think I realized how much I’ve missed.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I try not to think about what if she was just using me; what if she gets off by humiliating strangers?
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I wonder if she was just trying to tease me.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex has never played a role in my life.
I’d like to feel like I could have casual sex, somehow.
Maybe I should write about that time in college when I made out with that girl in the closet?
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!