by Evangeline

Gender: Female
Age: 20
Race/ethnicity: Biracial
Location: USA
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Customer Service
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

tiedup
A Tryst

How long ago did this hookup happen? 13 months ago

How would you best classify this hookup? Two-night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My partner was a psychology major at the university I attend. Let’s call him Kris. Kris was an old friend of my then-boyfriend, Ian, who was living with me at the time. He had blue eyes, thick, curly auburn hair, and a thin effeminate frame. I became acquainted with him over a period of about 6 months. Kris was in a long-distance relationship with a young Finnish woman.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Ian and I had been experiencing sexual frustrations in our relationship for months. I felt burdened by the stress of being a full-time student as well as carrying the financial weight of the relationship with a part-time job. (Ian was unemployed.) As Kris and I became friends through our mutual connection, we quickly began to notice an attraction between the two of us. It was intensified by the notion that acting on our desires was “forbidden” (we were both in monogamous relationships). Neither of us suggested leaving our SO’s for a romantic coupling; it was understood that our desires were for a noncommittal, purely physical encounter. We got the opportunity to act on our desires when my boyfriend broke things off and moved out of state. I spent part of the night at my girlfriend’s house, drinking wine. I was texting Kris throughout and it was agreed that we meet at his apartment later that night “to talk.”

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He put on a movie and we conversed for a little while in the dark, quietly. Our bodies were close and our legs were overlapping. Soon we were kissing, and things quickly became heated. In previous conversations we had shared stories of sexual encounters and preferences. Though we had not been physically close before this night, we felt very comfortable with each other. We spent a good part of the first night fucking bareback. He tied my wrists to his bed frame and fucked me like that for a while. Occasionally he would choke me during foreplay. This I did not expect and enjoyed immensely. He did not leave bruises on my neck, though he did leave bruises on my wrists and arms that healed after a few days. I was generally submissive and allowed him to blindfold me a few times as well. We both engaged in oral sex between PIV [Penis In Vagina] intercourse. There was a lot of heavy petting, some cuddling, and a pervasive air of intimacy. Neither of us came. This did not bother me in the slightest, as it was not a measure of how much I enjoyed the encounter and I believe the feelings were mutual. The tone of the experience was very light and friendly while also being wildly passionate and uninhibited. We showered together before falling asleep shortly after dawn, then slept naked beside each other. The second night was much like the first: heavy petting, a lot of foreplay, and a lot of PIV intercourse. There was a lot of rough sex with scratching, biting, light slapping, and other tactile stimulation that wasn’t strictly sexual. It was my first casual sex experience and I enjoyed every minute of it.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Stupidly, none and no.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Several months of pent-up sexual tension.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? I was a little tipsy from drinking wine, but he was not under the influence of any drugs (that I was aware of).

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the second night, Kris’s girlfriend learned of our tryst. I never spoke to him again after that. I see him occasionally, at a distance, which always brings a pang of remorse. I was distraught that things ended so abruptly–both our physical relationship and our friendship.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I have spoken to a few girl friends and a few new lovers about the hookup. The girls wanted to shame me about the experience, as if I was dirtied by having sex with a man in a relationship. The men were generally accepting. (The girl friends were under 30 and religious. The men were over 30 and more sexually open, with no religious affiliation.)

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Absolutely, for both parties.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No. My only regret is that it did not last longer.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was getting to indulge in what I had only fantasized about for months. I learned a few new turn-ons for myself. I learned that casual sex could be just as rewarding as sex with a long-term partner, or potentially more. To this day it is still one of my more memorable sexual experiences.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

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