What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 56
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Richmond, VA, USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Semi-retired military
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Deeply closeted.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 25
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
A Year Of Being Good, Then A Walk With A Coming Out, Then A Random Hookup.
How long ago did this hookup happen? Yesterday
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? random, ‘cruising’-man to man.
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I had never seen or met this gentleman before. I saw him watching me dry off after a hike in the woods at the local park, as he had his hand in his pants. Since I was there to meet someone like him anyway, I did a little fishing and hooked him.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I spent time recently with one of my nieces that I helped raise. During the visit, she expressed troubling thoughts about her body image and the need to lose weight. In my efforts to explain she was beautiful and quite frankly perfect as is, several subjects came up. Somehow in the conversation, homosexuality was mentioned and I told a vague story about a ‘friend’ who was gay but married and could not come out. Later on a walk, she confronted me and said she felt like the ‘friend’ was actually me. I still do not know why, but I fessed up and outed myself. For some reason, later that week, I began to feel bolder about my need to be with a man again. Finally, I put on my very short shorts without underwear, and a tank top and headed to the local park known for cruising married men just like me. I had never hooked up there before but had high hopes.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As I was standing next to my van drying off, shirtless, I noticed a man in his SUV two cars back from mine. I decided to take a chance and stripped off my shorts, drying myself and exposing myself completely to him. The feeling of standing there knowing he was looking, as I wiggled my ass, and pimped myself was fantastic. He got out and stood there with his hand in his pants, so I turned and bent over so he could get a good look at my ass. Finally, he got back in his SUV and started to leave. I was disappointed until I realized he had merely moved closer to the park entrance and started inside. I quickly pulled on my shorts and followed him into the woods. after only a few yards in he stopped and turned sideways, revealing the fact that he was stroking a very serious hard-on. The sight of his beautiful member made me lightheaded and I grinned at him as I approached. I pointed at his crotch and asked if he needed some help with ‘that’. He nodded, and I realized he probably did not speak much English. He was to be my first Middle Eastern experience. I dropped to my knees in broad daylight, not exactly hidden from sight completely, and began to do my best to bring him to orgasm. He was not overly aggressive but did pull me a little too far, too quickly, triggering my gag reflex. I apologized and he smiled down at me. After several minutes of sucking on him, he moved my head down to attend to his balls and I naturally obliged. This sent him much closer to the edge and soon, he had stroked himself enough for me to return for the finale. I began to suck him as he soon came in my mouth. He made several sounds of pleasure and caressed my head, then eased me away. I smiled up at him and gazed at his member for a few seconds gave it a kiss, and he closed up, smiled and left. He never said a single word, and I didn’t expect any. I felt totally free and so very feminine during and afterward. In fact, I drove home naked.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I expected nothing more than to give him the maximum pleasure possible, deriving my own pleasure from just being there to do so. In fact, I was thrilled at the minimal personal connection. I felt like a prostitute which felt surprisingly wonderful to me. Thinking about it now gives me great satisfaction on several counts. First, I was able to entice a total stranger to reveal himself to me and allow me to pleasure him publicly. Second, I love being submissive and exposed like that. Finally, as I have finally been able to admit, to myself and now my niece, I love being with men as much if not more than women. The only regret or bad feeling is in regards to my wife. Honestly, I do not feel shame or sorry for doing it. Instead, I only feel bad about keeping it secret from her. AS we do not have sex any longer, I do not worry about exposing her to STDs. As for the future, considering the size, and beauty of his member, if I see him there again…well you know.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Submission / Relinquishing power, it is a need now. like needing to eat or sleep. powerful and no longer deniable.
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? I don’t know
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Nobody, though I wanted so badly to talk to my niece about it. Inappropriate though.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? the complete lack of expectation and rules. the lack of his speaking made it easier to let this just be casual sexual happiness for me. Oddly, I don’t even worry about running into him again somewhere else.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That it was only oral. I would very much have liked to have been taken anally.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I almost told my wife about it and had to suppress it. The pain this would cause her is the only regret I have. somehow the experience has strengthened my desire, need, and willingness to have more casual sex with men. The biggest plus is that as a 56yr old man, it made me feel like I had such power and desirability, despite the submissive nature of the event. Standing there naked, shaking my ass as bait, like a horny high school boy, was beyond compare.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? There is, of course, the obvious negative of possible STD exposure and though it frightens me slightly, I am not petrified at the thought.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? At this point in my life, the only sex with men that I am allowed is casual and clandestine. A large part of me desperately wishes that could change, but I cannot bring myself to destroy my wife. Yet. I would love very much if society would keep relaxing on the subject of casual sex, realizing that it is an essential part of life for so many of us and for our mental health.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I love it. It is the only place I can spill the beans and be as out as I want to be without concern.
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