What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 28
What’s your race/ethnicity? Black
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? US
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1
Accidental one-night stand
How long ago did this hookup happen? Almost a year ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was my age, fit and slim, Asian man with a boyish face. Tall. Nice smile. We exchanged messages on Okcupid for a few weeks. He told me he was looking for something casual, and I thought he meant friends with benefits. I didn’t have any deep feelings as we’d never met.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We texted on a Saturday night and he was getting off work. He was a busy lawyer and said he rarely had time to go out. I just moved to the city for grad school. We were both admittedly busy and lonely. I told him I’d come over and we could cuddle, watch something, and just sleep together. I wasn’t planning to have sex and I don’t think he was, either. He said he was fine with no sex.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I went to his place and was impressed by his apartment. Lovely city views and very romantic feeling. We got in his bed and he started talking about how our kids would look cute. I thought that was weird. He also had a stuffed animal on his bed and when I said that was weird, he kind of blushed and put it away. He seemed pretty childish. But we bonded over both having Ivy League degrees and wanting to be successful in life. We cuddled for a bit but then he started caressing me. So we had sex. He didn’t use a condom. He was pretty rough, he held my hands over my head, spanked me, and came on me. I tried to cover my face when he came but he held me hands down. We had sex two more times. His bed broke! He seemed really embarrassed. We had sex in the broken bed, then in the morning he said he had work to do, that he’d call, and shooed me out pretty early.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He never called me. I thought we could have been FWB. That was my first one night stand. I will never again have sex with anyone the first time we meet, again. It was awkward. There is some benefit in at least going on a few dates first to smooth things out.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, I was feeling lonely
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t like him very much and it’s not something I’d do again. It was mostly uneventful.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? We should have used a condom. Other than that, I think I should have waited to meet someone I actually liked and vice versa.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex was pretty good and he had a nice apartment. It was fun to look at the view with him and relax in his big, luxurious bed. Also, he was pretty good looking.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The stuffed animal and the bed breaking, as well as mentioning that we’d have cute kids…
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I’m not into it.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I thought one night stands were supposed to be fun. It was just awkward. Definitely not worth a couple hours of pleasure.
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