What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 20
What’s your race/ethnicity? Hispanic / Latino/a
What continent do you live on? South America
What country and/or city do you live in? Venezuela
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Ah… Kids stuff.
How long ago did this hookup happen? currently happening
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She is a tall, short haired, white cutie hipster. I met her about a year ago as the girlfriend of one of my best friends. She was very different back then — she was one of those shy girls who are madly in love with their boyfriends. She barely spoke with anyone but we always were friendly with each other.
At the time I didn’t pay attention to her, because she was my buddy’s girl and I was just meeting my current girlfriend (a beautiful Latina Sasha Grey lookalike). After a few months my friend broke up with her, and left her for another girl.
A few months passed and I didn’t know anything about her, but I saw on Instagram that she dyed her hair and had a major change in her look. She now dresses as punk girl and draws erotic images… I liked it. I casually saw her again at college and we started speaking, and we became friends then.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? When we became friends in college she told me of how she just wanted to be a sexually liberated being, she told me all about her recent hookups and pretenders, I laughed listening to her and eventually gave her an advice or two, she looked very sexy telling me all that. I, of course, didn’t have many crazy sex stories to share because I was over a year in a monogamous relationship that was becoming a little… stale.
My girlfriend is very afraid of sex. She is living with very strict parents and she is scared of something going wrong (An unwanted pregnancy to be more precise). She doesn’t want to have sex just with condoms because she is afraid of them breaking. We researched about all types of birth control but due to the terrible economic state of my country it is not as easy to get.
That resulted in me not having sex in over a year, which resulted in a lot of argues and harsh moments between us because all our sexual activities consists of only foreplay (very nice foreplay mind you, but still not enough). I felt sexually frustrated, and even though I know she hasn’t done it due to fear, I also felt rejected and unattractive. Why am I still with her? It’s complicated, my emotions for her are still really strong and she is a great emotional partner.
This other girl caught a lot my attention. I touched her constantly while we were talking, subtlety caressing her leg, arm and shoulder, and she never stopped me… the tension was evident. There was nothing official until one night when she texted me. We started speaking normally but it slowly got more and more flirty… we ended up sending us nudes and planing to hook up. I made my choice there, I was going to cheat for the first time in my life.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The very next week we saw each other in college (this time it was completely planned) and went straight to my car. My car has smoked mirrors so you can’t see anything of what’s happening inside from the outside. We started kissing first. I was a little nervous because this was my first hookup in over a year and a half, but it all dissipated once she took her clothes of and showed me her beautiful tits. I came one time and she came like three times (I tend to last long). She is an amazing lover, such a sexy little vixen, perfectly and easily took the animal out of me.
She is into some kinky shit — she asked me to slap her. I did it a little bit nervously at the begging but ended up actually leaving a mark in her face, and she loved it. I choked her, we both bit each other; it was a wild, nasty and beautiful experience. I felt with this girl a sexual connection that I (sadly) don’t feel as much with my girlfriend anymore. We see each other 2 to 3 times a week now and the sex just gets sweeter and sweeter.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We are now fuck buddies, we see each other weekly. I feel more alive and full of energy; almost every once of self doubt and lack of masculinity I had before is gone. Bad thing is I now feel guilty and kinda sad. I don’t like to cheat so much on my gf, and every time I have to lie to her I feel like a full piece of shit, I think the best choice is to broke up with her but as I said above i’m still very in love with her; also she madly in love with me (probably more than I am of her) and I know it would destroy her if I broke up with her, Im at a corner right now and I gotta make a decision very soon.
About my lover, well, I feel addicted to her, we have so much chemistry together we could start a pharmacy (Sorry for such a lame joke). The thing is that we started to share a little bit more than our bodies, we got to actually have somewhat romantic dates and talk about our fears, ideas and dreams; we even get jealous of each other sometimes, she hates a girl from college who wants to have sex with me more than she wants to breath. I don’t know were our little adventure will lead us but i’m definitely into it.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, Power / Dominance
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Some very close friends, due to my girlfriend I have to be very secretive about this. They were surprised because they didn’t expect that from me, some congratulated me and some judged me. I don’t really care about their opinion about it either way.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? This girl and I are a sexual match made in heave. Everything I do turns her on and everything she does excites me. I haven’t felt a sexual chemistry so strong in my entire life.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Cheating on my girlfriend and not being sure if I actually like this girl emotionally or I’m just excited because of the hookup.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It definitely changed my view about cheating. I used to see it as this horrible unforgivable thing, but now, from an insiders perspective, I can see that the reason for someone to cheat could be much more complex than it meets the eye. It taughtme about the beauty of eroticism, about sex being a connection between two souls, about enjoying someone else body and how sex should be an spontaneous act of passion and not a forced thing. A real eye opener this adventure of mine.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? She kinda looks like Scarlett Johanson in The Avengers.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is like playing with fire. You can have a lot of fun and learn a lot but you could also get badly hurt. If you are going to get into that terrain you better be prepared physically and, most importantly, mentally. It can be highly positive but also incredibly negative, it all depends on the people partaking in it.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s one of the most interesting websites I’ve found. Kinda therapeutic to be able to write all this down.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!