Location: Ohio, USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Social worker
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 yrs
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met this guy online. He was ethnically Armenian and he was beautiful. We had chatted over the phone several times before we met. We were both open and honest about our histories and what we wanted. I liked his personality of course, but I loved his appearance. I didn’t want anything serious as he was recently divorced and managing single parenthood. I had just came out of a sex starved relationship.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? There was no real planning, but there was that hopefulness. I met him at his house to go out on a date. When I arrived it was instant attraction. We went in to grab a drink first. We talked for awhile, then we both just kinda began touching each other. That was the first time.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He was extremely attentive. I got oral as did he. He was big into dirty talk, saying what he was going to do. During this was my first anal experience. I was nervous, but he was experienced. It was amazing. He made sure I came, which I appreciated. It felt natural between us, no awkwardness. We had spoken at length beforehand about our preferences before we met face to face.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I wasn’t worried about STDs. He was with his ex-wife for several years and I had just had a long-term boyfriend. I tested clean, so I wasn’t worried. We used condoms I had in my purse the first time, but not after. I was using the hormonal IUD at the time.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? It just seemed natural as we were attracted to each other. I’ve had a long history of casual sex, so for me it wasn’t a big deal emotionally. I figured we are both consenting adults, so why not explore that attraction. Sex is fun!
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? We each had a beer or two, but we weren’t intoxicated. It did take the edge off the first-time jitters. Some times we were together, we’d drink. Other times not.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We stayed friends with benefits for over a year. We tried not to expect too much, as neither of us were ready for something serious. We both felt good about our relationship. Never any regrets. We’re still friends, regular friends, since I’m married now. I think he’s an amazing person. He was always so honest with me about his kinks and fetishes. He was big into women’s clothes, had a gay experience, and had me use a strap-on to perform anal on him. He was the first guy I met who was open about his sexual preferences. And he wasn’t ashamed of it.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I’ve told everyone I know! He was such an amazing lover and showed me that sex can be really adventurous. Even my now-husband knows.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Totally wanted! We always talked about what was happening. The first anal experience for me wasn’t planned, but he did ask permission. I had wanted to try it long ago, but never had a partner who was willing to do it properly. He talked me through it and it was great. His first anal experience we had to plan, as it required some equipment LOL.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Not at all!
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was the experimentation and his unabashed openness. He taught me to not be afraid to ask for what I want. There was nothing bad about our time together. I’m no longer afraid to ask for things, no matter how kinky they seem.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
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