by FriendlyNotFriendly

Gender: Female
Age: 28
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Location: Australia
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Health Services
Relationship status: In a relationship
Religious affiliation: None
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Liberated
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 120
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Alcohol: Life’s Lubricant

How long ago did this hookup happen? 8 months ago

How would you best classify this hookup? One night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He has been my friend for 14 years. We hooked up 10 years ago but it went nowhere. I have not been sexually attracted to him for a long time but the feeling was not mutual there.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was helping him clean up his place one Saturday night not long after his girlfriend has left him. We were drinking and smoking cannabis and he was ducking out every half an hour to smoke his crack pipe (unbeknown to me). He was awake and I was tired so I crashed out in his bed.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I passed out in his bed and woke up with his hands down my pants. I was hopelessly drunk and didn’t stop him. I knew he was hurting from his girlfriend leaving him so I decided on a friendly pity fuck. He was robotic in his movement so I got on top and rode him for 3 minutes and he came. I knew if I was on top he would come quickly and it would be over with. After he came he told me that ‘this is your fault for being so damn sexy’ and went back to playing xbox. I told him he could not breathe a word of this as his ex was my energy vampire friend and the repercussions would be huge.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? No precautions taken, we have been friends for a long time and I trusted him.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Alcohol was the major contributing factor followed by my wanting to make him feel better about himself.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Yes alcohol cannabis and ice were involved between the two of us.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup I felt guilt shame and disgust in myself. I felt angry with my friend for taking advantage of me while I slept in his bed and very scared of my friends finding out. I have no expectations of a future with him as it has come out that he is a daily ice user and I cannot be around that.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I eventually told my friend what had happened and she punched me in the face and banned me from seeing him which I respected. I have been made to look like the perpetrator of this hook up and I guess my hands are dirty too. I do hold my head up for telling her the truth though as the guilt was consuming me.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual under the influence of alcohol however had I have been sober I would not have done it. This was a negative/unwanted experience.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Yes. It has damaged my reputation and at least three friendships.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best thing about it was that it was someone I had known for a long time. Worst was that it happened at all. I regret it so much and I have lost friends because of it.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I do not use alcohol as an excuse for my behaviour however it DOES lower my ability to make sound judgment calls.

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