by Danti

Gender: Male
Age: Late-20’s
Race/ethnicity: Mixed
Current location: Los Angeles
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Behavioral Health
Relationship status: Married
Religious affiliation: Humanist
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 100+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Altered Consciousness

How long ago did this hookup happen? A couple of weeks

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Wonderful person, ethnically diverse. Long black hair with a beautiful body and amazingly talented. Actually, I take that back, I don’t know if she was a wonderful person. I don’t even know your name.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We (my wife and I) met some friends for dinner, after dinner we all went over to a local lifestyle event. She and I shared some looks, and chemistry just happened. It took us all of five minutes to have each other undressed.  The club we were in had a “play room” space.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We gave each other oral in the play room.  I remember thinking this is incredible, she had this way of rolling her tongue, I didn’t orgasm at that time but I got close.  I then went down on her, I loved the way her body responded to my every flick and touch.  Then, I put on a condom and we had sex for over an hour; not continuously, off and on.  We did it every way, fit, flexible people can imagine. At one point we drew an ovation from the other couples having sex in the room.  My wife wandered over with a female friend at some point and the four of us were all intertwined. Like the worlds sexiest pretzel.

She was a good lover, we had good chemistry and moved well together. She was loud and I was vocal.  I believe people should ask for what they want, and contingently reinforce their partners. If that feels good let them know, if you wish she would move differently don’t be afraid to ask for it.  You think she looks amazing with her mouth on you? Let her know!  We all like to be affirmed.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I rarely orgasm with anyone that is not my primary partner, that’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy the experience. I did, I just don’t hold a view of sexual expression that is orgasm-centric.  She had multiple orgasms, I don’t count, because as I said I think the sexual experience is so much bigger and less constrained then “orgasm seeking.”

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We discussed STI’s and I showed her my most recent results.  I get tested every 4 weeks and keep a copy of my results on my phone to show to partners.  She didn’t have any results to show, but she self-reported that she was clean and had been tested in the last six months.  We also used a condom for penetration, but did not use any barrier method for oral sex.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Recreational sex. Its a hobby.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? None for me.  She might have had a drink at dinner, but wasn’t visibly intoxicated or showing any overt signs of impairment.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We kissed thanked each other and went our separate ways.  I would be willing to play with her again if our paths ever crossed.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My wife, she got to experience some of it with me. We both agreed that it was ridiculously sexy, even within the openness of our frequent casual sex.  She could visibly see the rare combination of attraction and chemistry that made it so memorable.  She thought it was incredibly sexy, and was excited that she got to participate in part of it.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Consensual and wanted.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No, I regret that it only happened once.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It was a rare blend of attraction and chemistry.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

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