What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 46
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Cuyahoga Falls
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Military
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 years
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? The guy was a slender, tall, and kinda goofy, but still cute. He was also a lot younger than me (I was about 42, he was 30). We barely knew each other, only had chatted a couple of times. We were both in the same National Guard unit.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We were at our 2 week annual training period in Minnesota, and there was a lot of downtime and boredom. I was in a committed relationship at the time(and still am) but had never cheated before, and wanted to try it. The 2 of us were sitting in a truck waiting and started chatting. I had the feeling he was into messing around because of some looks and interactions we had in the days leading up to this. We got back to the barracks and I couldn’t stop thinking about how easy it would be to hook up. So I texted him and asked if he wanted to sneak off. He went to the PX and got some vodka, but he was too nervous to buy condoms, so he asked me to. When I got back, we met in a little metal shack that I think was probably part of an internment camp at one time.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He was already hard and he bent me over a table with his shorts around his ankles. Then he flipped me over and finished. We both had our shoes and socks on the whole time. There was no kissing or anything.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We got dressed and left, one at a time as not to be suspicious. He barely spoke to me the rest of the time we were there. That made me feel shitty because he had just gotten married about a month before this happened.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Thought it was an important experience to have, Boredom, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A couple close girlfriends, and they thought it was funny.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? Because it was cheating.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Sex and life experiences.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Regret.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, I am more open now.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? We did eventually start chatting and texting again, after some encouragement on my part. We have even met up and had quickies on a couple of other occasions.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I wish I had been more casual about sex earlier on in my life.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s quite interesting.
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