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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 42
What’s your race/ethnicity? Southeast Asian
What continent do you live on? Europe
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Home maker
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Anything for Love

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? I don’t know what to call it

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I have known him for years, he is a distant relative married to another distant relative. Have met him on and off and was never close. Then all of a sudden we got talking and with all the social media help we were talking regularly. Realised we were soulmates. We just couldn’t stop talking to each other everyday. He always had time for me even in his very busy schedule.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We weren’t talking about sex for ages.Then one day it happened, we got talking all night and told him how I wasn’t interested in sex and I felt I was asexual! This got us talking more and before we realised not sure what happened then next thing I know I was feeling all kinds of things.Then we continued to sext each other for a few months before I met up with him in person (we live in different cities) and did it. We don’t want it to be a one night stand, but meeting him regularly is impossible. We weren’t planning to do it or even go all the way! He loves his wife too much and I really respect that. I don’t want to get in between the two of them. They both are lovely souls.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had oral and vaginal sex that night. He was so loving and nice. Actually we just had about six or seven hours together most of which was spent cuddling up together.The sex happened only in the last couple of hours, we did it twice and he was so nice and gentle.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? It felt we had reached a different level in our relationship.He was always afraid that I would take over his life if we actually did it. But I know my boundary and kept away.We still talk regularly and sometimes sext though both of us feel guilty about it. But we want to be there for each other.We love the closeness and being there for each other. I feel it is more love than lust, though the lust is definitely there. We want to see each other happy!

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I have never spoken about this to anyone.I don’t think I will ever do.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? We still love each other though we never say that. We got to know each other even more!

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I feel guilty about it because I worry about my children and his family.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It has changed what I think about sexuality. I would want a partner like him.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!