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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 44
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? IT Professional
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? four or five now

Awkward, unexpected threesome

How long ago did this hookup happen? 18 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Group sex

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was cute, total rave chick, pretty small/petite, purpleish blue hair, glitter everywhere, and a nice ass. Her boyfriend(?) was pretty lean/ripped, good looking guy.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was at a rave, moonshadows, somewhere out in the CA desert, with some friends. There were a lot of party drugs, rave music, crazy shit going on everywhere. I was hanging out in this girl’s tent, with a few other people. Like I said, there were plenty of party drugs around, so…. ecstasy, k, some other stuff. we were all rollin’ pretty good.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It started off with her kissing my neck and chest. We were sort of cuddling and moving to the music at the same time. That led to some touching, and some clothes coming off. Some of the other people in the tent left, so it was just us for a bit. She opened a pixie stick and put some of the sugary powder on her tits, which I licked off… then she poured some on my dick, which she licked off. Lots of rubbing, touching, and finally a condom on and fucking for a bit. A mix of drugs and a condom, and I just wasn’t able to cum. I started giving her oral, which was great. Oral on ex? Just awesome.

She moved on top, straddling my face…. almost 69. After a couple minutes I realized it wasn’t really 69… and it wasn’t her sucking my dick. I looked, and it was her boyfriend. OK. Well, I wasn’t expecting this, but hey… it felt good, and we’re all in the moment. Her pussy tasted awesome, and the blowjob felt good. The problem was people stumbling in/out of the tent constantly, and me getting uncomfortable with everything. I ended up excusing myself, going out to look for some water.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I had an open invitation to return to the tent, but I never did. I ended up partying with some others (no sex, just dancing and more drugs). I felt a little weird about the whole situation.

Nearly two decades later, in retrospect, I kinda wish I went back to the tent and saw where it all led.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Marijuana, hashish, MDMA, ecstasy, molly, Ketamine

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Marijuana, hashish, MDMA, ecstasy, molly, Ketamine

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I never told anyone until one night when my girlfriend asked if I’ve ever been with a man, maybe 10 years after it happened. She thought it was hot, but disappointed more didn’t happen.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? New experience

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Leaving before seeing where it all would have gone. I probably wasn’t in the right mental space for it at the time, but I’d not mind a do-over now (albeit with a bit less drug use). I have no attraction to men, but in that situation it was and could be pretty fucking hot.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Just something that happened when I was younger. I didn’t give it a ton of thought at the time.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’ve gone long periods of my life being monogamous, partially because it is what felt right, and because “that’s just what you do.”
I passed up on some situations that could have been fun, because I was “taken” already. My relationship now is more flexible. We’re open, have been experimenting with personal desires, etc.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s great!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!