What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 47
What’s your race/ethnicity? Mixed / Multiracial
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Mexico
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Artist
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Jewish
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1992
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (open)
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I honestly have no idea what the fellow looked like, my overall recollection was he was a 20-something, white male, average to fit, not particularly striking.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I had flown into the city to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday and I showed up to his house where his girlfriend had thrown him a party. I was annoyed that he was sleeping with someone else and that my plans were altered. But then a young man was introduced to me as a “big fan of my music.” I decided that I would sleep with him as I would be unlikely to ever meet another fan (honestly the music was way too obscure and I realized this might be my one fan) and have “groupie sex.” So I flirted, he flirted, and I asked if he wanted to have sex and we went to a hotel on the coast and did the deed.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The usual missionary sweaty sex of a hook up, I suppose. I felt bored and a little annoyed that the coast was so far from my house. I fell asleep afterwards then when I awoke I was hungover and ready to be over my adventure.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Afterwards we drove back to the city and I had him drop me off. He called a few days later and I made up a lie about leaving town the next day. He seemed disappointed, and said something or another about thinking this was going to be more than it was turning out to be. I took that to mean he wanted another date. I did end up hooking up with my “boyfriend” another time, but was not interested in hurting the other girl’s feelings, she loved him, they got married years later, blah blah.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? It didn’t seem to me that it was likely I would ever meet another ” fan.”
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I don’t think I have spoken about it in detail to anyone. More of an off the cuff bit of conversation to surprise others.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? An adventure
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Possible HPV!
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I was more aware of the need for condoms.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? If you want something to be meaningless I will be meaningless.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Sexuality is complicated and unjust in our society and in every one I have visited. I have yet to find a place where women and men are judged equally on their choices, sexual or otherwise.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Fantastic way to gain some statistical insights to those who wish to share their stories.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!