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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 23
What’s your race/ethnicity? Mixed / Multiracial
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Barista
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (open)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Queer, fluid
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Backstage Secret

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Oliver was a friend of mine that I’d met through our college’s theatre department. He was 5’9″ or 5’10”, dark curly hair, brown eyes, cinnamon skin. He was a goofy guy with a love for all things comic books and movies, and he and I had an amazing chemistry. We were in a play together as the two main characters, so we spent a lot of time together at rehearsals. He was quickly becoming one of my closest friends at the time. However, Oliver and I had also flirted with each other a lot. And the fact that we had to make out on stage meant we were comfortable making casual physical contact with each other.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? One day the two of us were hanging out alone in the men’s dressing room of the theatre. We laid on a makeshift bed, the room illuminated with only the marquee lights around the mirrors, giving the room a warm, romantic glow. We laid down to take a nap, so I didn’t really expect anything to happen. But after a few silent moments, Oliver turned his body to face mine and wrapped his arms around me. I thought to myself, “Okay, he’s a cuddler. I’m down for this.” But then he began kissing my chest and neck. He wanted to do more than cuddling. We starting kissing, his hand moved down to grab my ass, my hand found its way into his hair.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Our kissing got more intense and Oliver slid his hand into my pants to see if I’d become wet (which I definitely did). I told him that maybe we shouldn’t be fooling around in such a public space where someone could walk in at any minute. His response was to get up and lock the door to the dressing room before returning to the bed to pull off my pants. We continued kissing and his fingers started to circle my clit and slide inside on me, making me moan louder than I would have like to. What if someone heard us? It was terrifying, but also very thrilling. I got really close to climax, but we heard someone start knocking on the door and I shot up to quickly pull my pants back on, and Oliver wiped his hand on his jeans before unlocking the door and letting our classmates in the dressing room. When we were asked why the door was locked, I told them we were trying to take a nap without disruptions. Oliver later told me that he came in his pants.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After this first sexual encounter, Oliver and I became fuck buddies for about a year. At some point I wondered (and was hopeful, even) if we’d ever become romantic partners, but it never happened. I haven’t spoken to him in a little over two years, but I look back on our time together with fondness. He was a good friend of mine and a beautiful human being. I have no regrets.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told a couple of my best friends, who told me that they weren’t surprised because they saw that hookup coming from a mile away. No shame, mostly excitement.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The spontaneity and the adrenaline rush.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I didn’t get to orgasm.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. It was my first time having a casual sexual experience ever, and afterward, I felt more positively about having casual sex. Before it happened, I could never imagine myself sharing something so intimate with a person who wasn’t my committed partner. But thanks to my experiences with Oliver, I’m now much more open to having a fling without emotional attachments.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with casual sex as long as it’s between consenting adults. I enjoy casual sex, and I’d honestly like to have more in the future. I hope that over time there will be less and less criticism and shame about casual hookups.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s great! I love coming here to read these steamy stories, and I’m glad it’s helping normalize casual sex more and more.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!