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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 3

Bad Decisions

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 Months

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My friends know him as Philip. He is tall, on his way to becoming overweight, blonde and has a bit of a Donald Trump hair-do. I have known him for about 4 years but never actually talked to him until a party last December. We ended up talking during an entire lecture about movies (big love!) a few weeks later. He seemed really nice and quite fun to talk to! He was never my type though.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I asked him if he wanted to go out for a drink. He suggested cocktails which I don’t like but still went with it. I should have said that I didn’t want a date-date but just a nice night out having a few drinks and talking about uni and movies. It didn’t take me long to get tipsy and that’s when I am at my horniest. We had a good conversation, shared our opinions on different things and our hopes for the future. There was one awkward moment when he talked badly about his ex-girlfriend who had broken up with him a few months earlier. He also asked me if someone ever broke my heart (weird?). Anyways – time went by really fast and eventually I said I wanted to go home. Home wasn’t far from the bar so he brought me home AND I invited him upstairs.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We smoked on the balcony and drank some of my leftover wine. I was at the point where it was becoming hard for me to have a somewhat sophisticated conversation. We ended up making out, of course. And it was my initiative – everything was, really. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy that knows how to get a girl into bed and leave her satisfied. But I didn’t realize that until after…
I took him into my bedroom where we undressed a bit awkwardly (the weirdest moment of the entire night was probably when he told me he hadn’t had sex for a long time right then; sorry – but is this supposed to turn me on? Or is it an excuse for his lack of sexual abilities?). I blew him for a little bit since I LOVE giving blowjobs and doing it turns me on more then anything. I put on a condom and sat on top of him (which was good!); eventually I wanted to switch to doggy. He sort of didn’t seem to get the concept of doggy so his whole entire heavy body was just pressed on top of mine, making it hard to breathe and feel anything in my womanly parts. He didn’t seem to notice that I was trying to get up. It was just really uncomfortable and just plain bad, especially with his breathing hard and moaning into my ear. Eventually I got him to turn around and I blew him for a little while longer. He has a great dick for blowjobs! He enjoyed it but didn’t come. Also, he never tried to touch me, anywhere. So except for the failed doggy I was doing all the work, very one-sided.
We fell asleep not long after. I am opposed to staying the night when having a one night stand so I tried to get him out of the house by asking him politely if he was going home. Of course, he said he was staying.
In the morning we cuddled a bit. I was quite hungover so didn’t make a move to get out of bed right away. I was thinking about starting round 2 but after kissing him I realized that it would probably be very bad, worse than the night before. He was a really bad kisser, and again, didn’t even try to touch places other than my arms and shoulders. Since I had to work at 12AM and he was saying the weirdest things and commenting on literally everything in my bedroom, I decided to get up. I didn’t want to seem too rude and made him coffee, and I had my breakfast. I thought after that it would be time for him to go home since I had to get ready for work and was already running a bit late. But no – he decided to stay so we could ride our bikes into the city together. Oh god…at this point I only wanted to be by myself and listen to loud music for just 5 or 10 minutes to get my head clear. But I didn’t want to be rude and kick him out. He was really nice by bringing me to the door at my work, but so so unnecessary.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He tried to talk to me on Facebook (didn’t exchange numbers) but I just ignored him, hoping he would get the hint this time. I haven’t talked to him since.
Before I was really open to what he could turn into. Open to what may happen! But then I was really disappointed in his sexual abilities and lack of kissing skills and just all his annoying questions the morning after (“Why do you have white curtains and not black? What is that stain on your mirror? I gain weight because I live alone and have to eat all the food that I buy and cook. (5 min later) I go grocery shopping everyday.”)
I was and still am embarrassed that I went to bed with him. Probably one of the worst discussions I have ever made with men.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Intoxication, Boredom

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A couple of days after I couldn’t talk about it. I gave hints to my friend that something very embarrassing happened with a guy I may have met through tinder. It was tinder but I didn’t decline it since it gives Philip a more anonymous “aura” and they won’t find out it’s someone from uni that they all know! Anyways- after a week or two I could tell some of my closer friends about it. I am someone who can tell a story in a funny way even though it’s horridly embarrassing. So we had quite a laugh about the guy!

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Other

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Very much

Why do you regret this hookup? His lack of sexual abilities and kissing skills- sex was really one-sided even though he WANTED IT. That he couldn’t take a hint on when to leave a one night stands apartment. And that I hooked up with a guy from uni that I may have to see again since we have some mutual friends.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? When I was able to tell my friends about it a few weeks later and have a good laugh about it!

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Just what happened after we got undressed.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I am still really open to casual sex and lovelovelove being single and being able to hook up with whoever I want. But I will not go out with guys that are younger and seem to have less sexual experience than me anymore. It’s just not worth it.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!