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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 42
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Oxford
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Musician
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? High sex drive
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 130
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Band Groupie

How long ago did this hookup happen? 22 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? At university, I was a talented guitarist. I was asked at short notice to join a band whose lead guitarist had left after a disagreement. The band was just going on tour, and we visited several different cities playing gigs, staying overnight in a self-catering house. The other three band members had each brought their girlfriend on the trip (they were our groupies), but I was single at the time, and so was left out in this respect. Katie was the lead singer’s girlfriend, she was 19 and the prettiest girl I have ever met, both then and since. What I remember about her was her alternative look with tattoos and piercings, her long blonde hair and fresh, pretty looks. I got to talk to her a lot whilst on the minibus, traveling between gigs. I think she was 19 years old.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The band was having a day off at one of the self-catering houses we had booked overnight. The other band members spent most of the day with their girlfriends – they all seemed to have a lot of sex whenever we stayed overnight somewhere. I was feeling really left out, having no girlfriend, and so just hung around watching TV. Later, we had a barbecue in the garden – everyone was there, and we were drinking and smoking some weed. The lead singer of the band, Adam, asked me what I had been doing, and I told him that I had been at a loose end all day. Everyone felt sorry for me. Unexpectedly, Adam, who was quite stoned, said that it wasn’t fair that everyone else had been getting so much sex and that I was left out. He suggested that Katie (his girlfriend) should have sex with me. Katie looked surprised, but when Adam asked if she fancied me, she admitted she did have a bit of thing for me. Adam said that we should go off and do it before he changed his mind.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Katie led me into the house and up to my room. I remember the floral smell of her perfume and how smooth her legs looked in her short summer dress. In my room, she immediately initiated a french kiss, which went on for ages. We took our clothes off, and she immediately went down on me. She gave an incredibly good oral sex. I think as she was so stunningly attractive, I think she had already had many partners before even though she was only 19. After a while, she pushed me back onto the bed and then positioned her vagina over my face, and we had 69 with her on top, grinding herself against me. She was incredibly wet, and I remember how dirty she tasted, as she had been having sex already that day with Adam. I didn’t care and licked her out thoroughly. After doing that for ages, she turned around, and we had close, sensual sex, whilst snogging the whole time. She said that she was impressed by how long I could last, and eventually, she came, with me finishing just a little later. We didn’t use protection as she was on the pill.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, things were a little awkward, and we didn’t really mention what had happened. We didn’t do it again.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication, I was feeling lonely, Submission / Relinquishing power, Everyone else was/is doing it, Peer pressure, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I wasn’t really able to talk about it afterward, due to the awkwardness of having sex with another guy’s girlfriend whilst everyone was a bit high.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? She was one of the most beautiful women I have ever been with, and it was incredibly exciting due to the spontaneity

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I was not able to repeat it, and I have been thinking about it ever since, wishing I could couple with someone so attractive again.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It led to increasing my confidence, and giving me a more promiscuous outlook.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I feel that people are too conservative about sex, and that as long as people take sensible precautions it makes sense to have as much fun as possible in a short life. I think it should be more acceptable to be sexually promiscuous and certainly don’t find that an issue with others. I think it should be much more socially acceptable in marriage to have affairs and open relationships, whilst still having a main partner.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It is very interesting to see what experiences other people have had

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!