by Cecelia Tallis
Current location: Oregon
Highest education received: High school diploma
Relationship status: Open marriage
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
Bartender Part Two
How long ago did this hookup happen? Two weeks
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Short fling, I guess?
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I hooked up with him about four weeks ago for the first time (which I posted a story here about it). I wasn’t planning to hook up again with him because he totally stopped contacting me. I saw him a few times after the first hook up though because he’s the bartender at my favorite karaoke bar. He had finally texted me wanting to hook up about a week after our first time. I wasn’t available. Didn’t hear from him again for a while.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? A couple days prior, I had this really hot sex dream about the bartender. So I texted him that I had a steamy dream about him and he asked for details. I told him, which led to us sexting all day. He desperately wanted to get together that day, but I had my kids and no babysitter so I couldn’t. So, we made plans to meet up in a couple of days.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We were supposed to go to his new apartment but at the last minute he changed venues. So I go to the address, and I suspected it was his parents’ house. I was right. That was a little weird for me, as a 31 year old adult. But, I understood his reasons. So I get there, he gives me a tour of his childhood home. Then we begin kissing and he sits on the couch while I take his pants off and start giving him a blowjob. He tells me he’s been waiting for this for a long time. Before he comes, he says he wants a turn to play with me. So we switch and he goes down on me while hitting my G-spot as he fingers me. Felt amazing. He tells me that every time he sees me in the bar he’s thinking about fucking me. I had really wanted to get on top, but he quickly penetrates me and starts going hard. It was great but over too quickly.
Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I did not. He did.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I’m on birth control but we didn’t use a condom this time.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? To have fun and I’m really attracted to this guy.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? I had a little wine and he had some kind of whiskey drink. Neither of us were drunk though.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We got dressed quickly because we heard a car door and I was worried it was his parents. It wasn’t, but then I had more wine and he started talking about his family and he showed me pictures of his godchildren. Then he got on his phone and started doing laundry and so I decided to go, but he said I should stay. Invited me to run errands with him but he was waiting on laundry and decided to cook the lasagna I brought for him. So I sat on his parents’ couch and played with his dogs for an awkward amount of time. I got up to leave again, and again he said I should stay. Finally, when he was packing some stuff into his vehicle to leave, he said he’d see me later at the bar (since I had told him I’d be there later). So, now I guess I’m not going with him on his errands. So he kisses me. Really good kiss. Then I get in my car, he gets in his truck, and we go our separate ways. It was awkward and confusing. Again, he stopped contacting me after the fact.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My husband, and two of my friends.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes for both
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No. It was really fun minus the awkwardness afterwards.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best thing was the kissing/sex. It was awesome! The worst was his behavior after the fact, and his behavior continues to be weird and confusing. He doesn’t really ever text me now, but when I’m at the bar, he makes a point to chat with me about his life and treats me like a friend. I ended up texting him last weekend and saying we should go get coffee and hang out when we’re not having sex. Not a date, just as friends. He agreed but I doubt it will ever happen.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I was hoping bartender would turn into a fuckbuddy situation since I feel pretty comfortable with him, I’m really attracted to him and he knows his way around a vagina. His weird lack of contact after the hook ups makes this seem very unlikely.
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