What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Amsterdam
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Event manager
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 25
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1.5 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We were at a party at my boss’s house. We work in the music industry so work and pleasure mix quite a lot. This guy is a friend of my boss who just came back from traveling the same destinations I had been traveling a year prior. As the night went on I noticed him checking me out, and circling around me during conversation. He was good-looking, great body, muscley but not too much and super tan. He also had a beard which was hilariously ticklish whilst making out – I found out later. Apart from the physical side, I found him extremely intelligent and he had a good sense of humor.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? After the house party, we went to a club. I think he was high here on x or m, and he quite obviously started flirting with me, grabbing my hand, touching my waist. I got high as well and during partying / smoking we spent time together. I finally became so horny form the whole spiel that I kissed him.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We ended up at his house with some other people and I took some ketamine (for the first time), after which I decided it seemed like a good idea to take a bath, fully clothed. As everyone was chilling in the living room, I was high as a kite, having the best time in the bath. I guess at one point everyone left, and it was just me and him. I had started to take off some of my clothes and then he got naked and joined me in the bath. We started making out and I jerked him off a bit. We then proceeded to take it to the bedroom. His body was incredible and he was good in bed. We had sex the whole night / morning /day – I’d say about 5 times. Oral and vaginal stuff. It ended because it turned 1600 and I wanted to go home. I didn’t come, I think because of the ket.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? No expectations- I would like to have sex again maybe, just not while high. I didn’t feel 100% sexy and feel like it could be more sexually satisfying if I did it with him whilst sober
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, MDMA, ecstasy, molly, Ketamine
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, MDMA, ecstasy, molly
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My friends
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The whole experience. The rush of that first contact and play. Kissing and sex were good too.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Feeling a bit lonely after – he never messaged me afterward. I never expect a date after a casual fling but at least a check-in and a ‘how are you now’ is always nice.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? This was the last of a stream of constant hook-ups where it was just about having fun and clenching my horniness. But after doing this for a year it started feeling empty and pointless. I’m currently not dating, hooking up, messaging or having any romantic/sexual relations with anyone – which is great.
I think the casual sex turned from empowering and being able to use sex like men do: just for me, into a placeholder for wanting and craving connection. I’m stoked I can see this and analyze my situation and was able to change it. Next time I wanna have sex with someone I want to to be more about the connection we have – not just about fun and being horny.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I love casual sex and I love how as a woman it has made me feel empowered. However, the double standards and the emotions that come with it I hate. I often feel that after a hookup, men feel like they ‘fucked me’ which sounds horrible and unfair. I have fucked them just a much and I hate that it turns into a power/ego thing – even the linguistics of describing a hook up for males and females is crazy sexist.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Dope!
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