What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 33
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Maryland
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Grad student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 40+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Beach Fling

How long ago did this hookup happen? In 2010

What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was petite, Indian, with a cute little body. I met off an only dating website. I was online the moment she responded to my message. I sent a message right back. We started chatting online, and I asked her if she wanted to meet up with me right then and there. She said no, but we made plans for the next day.

We met at Barnes and Noble in a gentrified neighborhood, then walked around the block to get coffee at a cool shop with an outdoor patio. When I met her, we hugged, and I could feel it was on. She was a little nervous at first, and acted submissive and vulnerable toward me, but I was soon able to tell she was a smart, independent woman. She was very left-wing, activist, feminist, and Muslim. It was great conversation, she was very fun and flirtatious.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I leaned in to give her a kiss right in public on the coffeeshop patio. After that I told her “want to get out of here?” She asked me where we’d go, and I told her “the beach.” The beach was 100 miles away from where we were hanging out. She told me she didn’t want to, but I really wanted to go to the beach with her, so I told her “tell you what, I need to move my car– 2 hour parking limit. Why don’t you walk with me to my car and we’ll figure out what to do.”

When we got into the car she still had second thoughts about going to the beach, but agreed to drive with me to the outskirts of the city. After that I just kept driving. About 30 miles out of the city she asked, and I told her the beach. By that time things were going so well that she was cool with it.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We got a hotel room when we arrived around 1am at the beach. We jumped on the bed and immediately started making out. Very soon thereafter she started crying “fuck me, fuck me!” So I ran outside to my car and grabbed a condom.

Sex was pretty good. Very intimate, because I liked her a lot. After fucking her missionary and doggie, I tied a rope around her neck, making her crawl on her hands and knees into the bathroom. We took a shower together, where I gave her oral.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We slept together and she sucked my dick in the morning. I’ll never forget the eye contact she made while giving me head. We cuddled until 1pm when the poolboy walked in on us naked by accident. That was kind of funny.

Then we went outside on the beach and smoked cigarettes and looked out onto the water. Then I took her out to brunch. It was a very emotionally gratifying hookup.

On the way back she asked me questions about what I was looking for at the present moment when it came to relationships. I told her I wanted to date a lot of women, which was true.

Nevertheless I wanted to see her again, and date her “for real” because she was actually a really amazing woman. But when I called and left a voicemail, she responded with a text that she wasn’t interested.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, To feel better about myself, To feel more confident

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told a guy friend of mine how amazing it was, but didn’t disclose who she was. Ironically he was a mutual friend of her on Facebook, but I didn’t realize this until long after it was over.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? She wasn’t interested in seeing me again, and for almost I year I was in a sort of “analysis paralysis” about what might have gone wrong.

I think I went a little too far and crossed a few boundaries. First, I made fun of her race, and for being feminist. It was all in good fun– she started it– she made fun of me for being white and male. But sometimes these things get out of hand.

I was also very persistent about getting her to the beach. She objected to it a couple times, but in the end went with the flow. She was extremely enthusiastic about having sex with me, but I wonder if I crossed a boundary in my persistence.

What I did with her was really kinky. I was going through a phase where I really wanted to be dominant, and really wanted to see a woman tied up. It was awesome at the time, and she seemed to like it, but maybe it wasn’t something she wanted to experience on a regular basis.

It’s also possible I was too politically moderate at the time. Ironic, because now I’m about as left wing as they get.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The adventure and the thrill of it all.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The fact that she didn’t want to hang out with me again.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s awesome!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!