What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 65
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Australia
What country and/or city do you live in? NEW ZEALAND
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? RETIRED
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: SECULAR BUDDHISM
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? CURIOUS!
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 200+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? NONE
Becoming a Sex Worker at 64!
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 YEARS AGO
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Paid sex
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Had never met before but had communicated on a website specifically for paid sex. He was a lot older than me…at least 10 years. All my past partners have been at least 10 years younger so this was something different. I’m not attracted to older men at all, so being 10 years older was almost like he was 20 years older. Despite not being attracted I was amazed at how easy it was for me to engage in totally enjoyable sex with this person.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I met the client at his hotel. We had organised the meeting, time and and payment on line a few days earlier. He contacted me.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We met at his hotel, and then went to a lovely restaurant for dinner. I was a little apprehensive as i drove to meet him as this was my first time being paid for sex…. but i also felt turned on and excited. As soon as i arrived i felt very in control. He was extremely respectful and courteous and a little nervous himself. Over dinner he told me a little about his life. He was looking at me almost as if he was in love with me. I felt that i wanted to be kind and loving towards him. There was a jacuzzzi in the room and we sat in there for a while after dinner and began making out. We engaged in oral and vaginal and I used my vibrator on myself and him. He wasnt a perticularly good lover but i took control and totally enjoyed myself. He loved watching me orgasm while using my vibrator.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? When i left the hotel i felt a little tired but fantastic. I didnt want to just go home as it was still early…only 8.30pm, so i drove to a freinds place and had a cup of tea with her. She told me i looked radiant and asked me what i’d been doing. I would loved to have told her but knew she wouldnt understand. I felt radiant!
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, Material rewards (gifts, money, drinks, dinner…)
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? We were in the process of breaking up at the time so i didnt tell him.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A couple of friends and my ex husband. They were all very supportive. One friend began doing the same thing a few weeks later….another investigated doing it but decided against it.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Getting paid a lot of money and enjoying myself sexually.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? There were no real negative aspects…although he didnt have an orgasm. I believe this was partly becasue of his age and partly becasue he was feeling anxious. We went on to meet up several more times and after a while he began to have orgasms.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, i seriously enjoyed the encounter and went on to have many more with the same person and others. There were many happy surprises that came out of this….i have gained a great deal of confidence. Its helped me love my body more and made me a lot more experimental in bed. Getting paid a lot of money adds a whole new and surprising dimension to casual sex.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Although i wasnt attracted to this person physically i did feel that i wanted to have sex with him. I was being paid to perform a service and i wanted to give the best service possible. I felt warm and loving towards this man. His wife had died a year earlier and he really seemed lonely. I wanted to make his life happier while i was with him and i know i achieved that, as well as having a great time myself.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? When i was much younger, in my teens, i had a lot of casual sex becasue i was looking for love. It took me many years to work out that was a very bad reason. I would also have sex when i didnt want to becasue i allowed men to manipulate me in to it. I was so desperate to be liked. As ive aged and learnt to really love myself casual sex is great now. I gave up drinking over 20 years ago so alcohol is never a factor. I beleive that if you dont have really good self esteem and confidence, casual sex can be damaging. I remember many years ago feeling so bad about myself the morning after. Now i realise its not about asking the other person if they will respect you in the morning…that is a question for yourself.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great project to get people thinking and being more honest about sexuality. The annonymity of the project helps people be more honest. Its always good to see what others are experiencing. Life is changing so fast and so are women. Women were repressed for thousands of years….we were told so many lies about ourselves. We were told how bad we were if we enjoyed sex….and so many other lies. We had no idea who we were in so many ways. But its like the prison doors have been opened and women are finally able to have the same sexual freedom as men. Who knows where this will lead us as a species. I beleive it will certainly change the nature of marriage and relationships.
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