What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 31
What’s your race/ethnicity? Hispanic / Latino/a
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Ireland
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Teacher
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? fluid
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 70-100 (not sure)
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none
Boring Yet Necessary
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 weeks ago
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I’ve had a lot of casual sex encounters, so this is just my last one.
He’s Latino as well, and I met him through other friends. I stayed at his place for a month and after I moved out we started hooking up. It started about 8 months ago, and it happens on and off. I thought it’d be easy to sleep with him without developing any feelings, and I haven´t so it works.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It started after I moved out of his place. We went out, had some drinks, although I wasn´t drunk. I wanted it, so I let it happen. He started it, but I already had a sense it would happen.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? There’s been oral and vaginal sex, some spanking.
During it’s fine. I like sex so it doesn’t have to be filled with fireworks for me to be satisfied. We aren’t really romantic with each other. Afterward, we sometimes cuddle, but I think that’s more out of habit rather than feeling emotionally involved. He’s good in bed, nothing to shout from the rooftops though. Sometimes we talk about his life, just boring chit chat. I’m never sure it has ended. I like to keep the option in case there is no one better around, although when we started hooking up again I was in a relationship… but I guess the same applies… there was no one better around.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I don’t feel bad about the hookup but I would rather be in something more emotionally satisfying. It’s still better than no sex at all. That’s how I feel about most casual sex. I have it cause I need it and I have nothing else going on. I don’t expect anything from him. Eventually, he’ll find someone, or I will.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, To cheer myself up, Boredom, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? To close friends, no one was particularly surprised. They assumed it was my way of getting out of my previous relationship-
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? Just that I cheated on my ex, not the casual sex part
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? That it pushed me to break up with my ex
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That I cheated on my ex
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? no
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’m very Freudian so, I think people need sex and are gonna go get it some way somehow for a variety of reasons. I think they can be very complex but also very simple. At times I’ve done it because I just wanted to get laid, some other times, because it’s my way of getting out of a relationship, of convincing myself something is or isn’t working, etc. If people are still making a big fuzz about it, that should change.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I did psychological research myself years ago and this is an interesting innovative way- I think people are encouraged to share “exciting” experiences, but I felt that I could either sit trying to remember something exciting or just write about my last one. I don’t think casual sex stories are often super exciting, or messy, or scandalous. Maybe people think they are and maybe CSP is tapping into that.
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