What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 30
What’s your race/ethnicity? Southeast Asian
What continent do you live on? Asia
What country and/or city do you live in? Philippines
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Healthcare
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Boyfriend Stealer

How long ago did this hookup happen? 13 yrs ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He’s 5’7, tan, lean body, had a nice smile. I had a gig with a band, who were my friends, in another city. After the concert, he introduced himself to me. During our conversation, I had the impression that he was cocky but he was cute so I kept talking to him. He’s flirty so I also flirted back. We exchanged numbers and kept in touch constantly.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We did not see each other for a couple of months due to long distance but we kept texting and calling each other every day. I later found out he had a girlfriend. He told me. But it didn’t stop us from flirting with each other. He invited me to visit him in his city. His girlfriend lives overseas so I didn’t have to worry about that.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We checked in at a hotel. He let me take a nap because I was tired from the long travel. I woke up feeling his hands around my waist. I turned around and he kissed me. I kissed back and his hands were all over me. He felt me up and played with my clit for a while. I returned the favor by sucking his cock. We stayed in the hotel for a few hours making out but no penetrative sex happened. I was hoping for it but it did not happen.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We spent the rest of the day driving around the city. He took me to touristy places and we took pictures. I had to get back that night because I had school the next day. We became very close after that. He was like a best friend to me. I also started to like him but he had a girlfriend. I was hoping he would breakup with her so we could be together.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Few of my friends. They were thrilled and teased me for being the third party.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? We got closer after this. We became best friends. We could talk about anything and he gave the best advice.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I became more emotionally attached to him. I wanted more but he was in a relationship.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I never thought I would have sex with someone who’s not my boyfriend. I thought I was a prude. The “no strings attached” situation makes it fun, dangerous, and thrilling.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is fun but it’s like playing with fire. I’m not against it but I don’t promote it either. You have to know yourself well if you want to engage in it. This is not for people who tend to get emotionally attached easily because it can break you in the end.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s a nice place to share your secrets anonymously.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!