What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 46
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Brooklyn
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Designer – luxury goods
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 50+???
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Brooklyn bar + more
How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 weeks
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? First time with ongoing lover
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My partner is 39 years old (I am 46), he is tall and lean with striking blue eyes and a causal confidence. We met online and met for coffee at a midtown Manhattan cafe to see if we clicked. Initial meeting was favorable, and we later planned to meet at a cozy bar near my apartment. Prior to the initial meeting at the cafe, I was unsure, but optimistic. He was a complete gentleman who asked all the right questions- meaning he was as selective and cautious as I was, yet he was still dominant and confident in the public venue.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met at a warm cozy bar/restaurant near my apartment. We planned it after our initial meeting and continuing favorable text chat.
He arrived before I did, as I had transit trouble. I arrived in a spaghetti strap short dress and heels. We sat together in a booth and drank wine and chatted. He had picked up groceries- which I thought was a little weird….
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As we sat together getting along very well, we discussed public sex and what we have both done. Mentioning the bathroom, we both were intrigued. The bar/restaurant was small, with prominent single bathrooms for MEN and WOMEN, obvious to all.
After discussion, I said “let’s!” And I made my way through the dining room to the ladies room. Moment later, my date appeared, and I welcomed him into the very small (very clean) bathroom. Without speaking he lifted my dress and began to touch me. We kissed only briefly. I was very wet and his fingers slid inside me with ease.
Excited, I unzipped his trousers and caressed his hard cock through his underwear. Before I could bring my lips to his hard cock, he turned me around, yanked my thong down and bent me over the sink. Gazing at each other in the mirror, he (safely) slid his hard cock inside me. I gasped as he took me from behind, not losing my gaze in the mirror. He fucked me long and hard, pulling my hair (which had been pulled up in a bun) and keeping my gaze in the mirror as he went deeper inside me. I tried to keep quiet in the tiny bathroom as he pulled out and slowly fucked my ass. I welcomed his hard cock and took him deep – all the way in – as we gazed at each other in the mirror with a wry look of pleasure.
He came in my ass – and we both watched it. I had already reached climax at least twice. We swiftly cleaned up and he departed back to our booth. After waiting a few moments, I returned to our booth where we finished our drinks and left for my apartment…..
Hot sex ensued on my couch and bed, and he even made me dinner (the groceries not seeming so odd now).
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We parted ways before sleeping, both extremely satisfied and ready to return to our regular lives. We both were very excited about it the next day – having found excellent sexual chemistry- both looking specifically for a lover – only
We are both looking forward to exploring our fantasies with each other.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Sterilization
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one initially- later a friend/lover of 25+ years.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? We found equals – both looking to explore our sexuality and fantasies comfortably and safely – with a trusted partner, not looking for “relationship” status, but something ongoing and explorative.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing really.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It has given me hope that there are other people I can connect with on a deeper level – to comfortably explore our desires and fantasies without judgment, without the confines of a traditional relationship.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? We have continued….
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I am a child of the 1970’s – I was a pre teen when the aids crisis hit – which taught all of us that sex was bad – it was deadly. Post marriage and divorce I have embraced my sexuality – that it is natural and normal and to be celebrated. Always safely and never without consideration.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Fascinating.
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