What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
Casual Sex After 7 years Of Monogamy
How long ago did this hookup happen? Less than a year
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (open)
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Ryan was a married friend who I’d met in a local WhatsApp group about a shared interest. He would always write things that made me laugh and we loved a bit of sexually charged banter. We used to flirt a bit online, but it never really crossed the line. We were both aware we were married. I had looked him up on Facebook one day and was taken back by how attractive he was. He was about my height, so a bit short for a guy and very flamboyant and unafraid to be himself. He had gorgeous brown eyes and a full black beard that had various forms he wore it in. He was of average build and was quite muscular with a small belly.
We met up initially when I was on my way to meet a client. I swung into a local park as we’d arranged to swap some items. The moment I looked at him, I immediately wanted to fuck him and had trouble holding a conversation. We kept staring at each other and licking our lips and being captivated in turns by each other’s passion. I couldn’t be sure he felt it too or what his feelings were at the time, but from then on, we developed a close friendship and would travel to see each other and private message daily. After we kissed one night, I told my husband. He was amazingly understanding and agreed for me to have a night with him, I was extremely grateful.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We arranged to meet at his, and we would just see what happened with no pressure. Both of us checked with each other on the days coming up to it to confirm we both definitely wanted to do it. Me and my husband’s sex life became very charged again and I was really turned on about getting to fuck my friend and that he’d given me permission.
Once I got to his place, we stood awkwardly in his living room, both of us visibly nervous. Eventually, I said I wanted to kiss him. I straddled him and we intensely made out (he was an amazing kisser) and he felt me up and ground himself against me. I asked if we should go upstairs, and he showed me to his room.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We kissed and he touched my breasts and I rubbed his dick through his jeans. We were eventually ferociously kissing and dry humping like teenagers. I was dripping wet and he was rock hard. I undid his belt and jeans. He took off his top and I immediately took off my top and bra. He stood up by the side of the bed, and took my jeans off, then slid a hand into the side of my knickers and immediately began to work my clit and vulva, lubing me up with my juices.
His hand felt amazing and I was moaning and thrusting my hips. I lent over and pulled off his pants and sprung his cock free. It was long and hard, uncut with very little foreskin, and a beautifully shaped head with a kind of elegant curve that almost looked ornate. I sucked him briefly, but by now we were so worked up, he took his cock out of my mouth, pushed me back onto my back and pulled off my panties. He went down on me with incredible eagerness, desperate to taste me. I moaned and writhed – he was so good at it and took a lot of pleasure doing it.
I had never felt so turned on before, the tension was unbelievable. He sat up and lifted my left leg and brought it up towards me as he slipped his rock hard dick into my eager opening. It felt amazing and the fuck was incredible. We kissed and he teased and touched my nipples and breasts. I vigorously thrust my hips upward toward his and got very vocal. I couldn’t believe this was finally happening, I had fantasized about it since we first met. He pulled out and started giving me head again which I didn’t expect, but eagerly took. I was so turned on I honestly doubted I could relax enough to orgasm, but I really enjoyed him alternating between oral and fucking me. Eventually, I told him to come and he shot his load all over my thighs and stomach. There was so much cum I needed a towel.
We hung out together and afterward he made me dinner and we had a lovely evening talking about silly things we loved and joking about our mutual friends. We played on his game console and watched some Netflix. Later on, we fucked again and he made me come hard with his hand (amazing to finally have that orgasm). I rode him hard again after we went to bed and it felt amazing but I was too tired to finish. We set our alarms early and fucked again and he got me off again in the morning before he left me home.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup I was buzzing, I felt so alive and it gave me a huge lift out from the boring and ordinary. We continue to have a close friendship, and now he is happier in his marriage. We haven’t hooked up since and I don’t know if it will happen again. I would love to, but it’s easier for me since my partner knows. My husband and I went through a lot of emotions, but are now strong and happy. It definitely gave a huge boost to our sex life and I’m eager for him to meet someone and have a similar experience with.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Plan B / Emergency contraception
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, Making new friends
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A few close friends, they were very supportive. Only a few friends know we opened our marriage. I wouldn’t tell anyone who would react badly or whom I didn’t trust.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The intense sexual chemistry my friend and I had/have and getting to explore that. Having a really fun evening with a good friend, I laughed so much. He cooked me an amazing dinner too. It helped me through a tough time and gave my self-esteem a huge boost. Also improving my sex life and feeling a reconnection to my husband again.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The fact he was/is married and that he wouldn’t be able to consider opening his relationship.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It really opened my eyes. I feel I understand myself and my desires so much better and it feels incredible to have a partner that lets me be myself.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I was brought up with very conflicting messages about sex. I feel pretty grateful it is a positive thing for me now.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s incredible to read and contribute to.
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