What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? Black
What continent do you live on? Africa
What country and/or city do you live in? South Africa
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 3
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Casual Sex Virgin

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was gorgeous, well built, well groomed with a smile to take off my clothes for!! We met on WhatsApp and a mutual friend hooked us up. Before the hookup, I just thought he was sexy and I would quiver at his touch. I feared that he was far more experienced than me and that I would give him terrible sex.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? A friend of mine thought I needed some activity after months of a dormant sex life post my cataclysmic breakup. This friend knew a friend who was looking for a sex buddy for a short period of time, as he was moving to another province. She gave me his number, I contacted him and we discussed the T&Cs of our relationship and planned our first meet.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? D-day came and I was scared because I had never had sex in the absence of love. I felt like backing out but at the same time I was curious about the whole experience of having sex with a stranger (a super hot one!). I drove to his place nervous as hell. So we went upstairs, established that we are not related and he went straight down to business. He gave me the best oral sex of my life!!! For the first time in my life I experienced invasive sex. He continued with the oral and fingered me simultaneously. Maintaining eye contact…I forgot I was nervous and transcended into a completely different universe. He then inserted his big black cock! It had been such a long time since I last had sex, I had forgotten how great the entry feels. He spread my legs in all kinds of positions. What drove me to insanity is when he would take out his penis just to give me some more mind blowing oral sex, then go back in. I had an out of body experience, I could not believe that someone could give me such great pleasure! He treated me like I was a queen and was very selfless during the sex. He was an amazing lover! Afterward, we spoke about music, series… Our world views and also our views of self. It ended with me sort of catching feelings for him. He moved to another province.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, we spoke a little then I went to my place. The next day I felt amazing, I could not believe that firstly, I had sex with a stranger whom I had no romantic feelings for and secondly, that I actually enjoyed it. My expectations were to continue our sexual relationship without me developing any feelings for him. Now I think he is a guy I could really fall for.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Learning new things, experimenting

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Our mutual friend and a bunch of my other friends, she was ecstatic that it turned out pretty well

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Sexual emancipation and learning about invasive head 😀

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I guess the part where it had to come to an end :'(?

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, it has! I used to think sex was reserved for romantic relationships. I also thought I was incapable of having a casual relationship as I attached a great deal of emotions to sex in my previous relationship. I learned that it is okay to want to bone a complete stranger and walk away. I also learned to embrace my sexuality and the fact that I too get horny and demand sexual satisfaction!!

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think it is generally frowned upon on the basis that you need love to have sex or that promiscuity is a sign of some mental disorder. I would like to see us acknowledge that we are sexual beings who want to be satisfied and that should not be set aside for couples alone. We should not govern how people express their sexuality.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great initiative, people are usually shamed when it comes to sex…This is a platform for us to share our experiences.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!