by Marie

Gender: Female
Age: 24
Race/ethnicity: White
Current location: Georgia
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
Occupation: Student
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Casual Virginity Loss

How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 years

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Friends with benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Most of my casual sex partners have been women, with one man. The first person (who I’m going to talk about) I had sex with was a goth girl in my friend group from college. I’d always found her attractive, and I was intrigued by how open she was. I remember the year before we hooked up, she was introducing my friend’s roommate to some BDSM stuff, like whipping and candle wax. He wasn’t into it, but when he did it to her, she got REALLY into it. We were never super close but we hung out in groups a lot and I was fascinated by her crazy lifestyle.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was in my dorm room. My friend and I were having a girl’s night with drinking. I was getting drunk, and that gave me the courage to hit on her and ask if she wanted to have sex. I was really surprised that she actually said yes.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We each gave each other oral and I fingered her (she had fake nails at the time so she didn’t finger me). It was mostly pretty fun. I remember giggling a lot. Because it was my first time having sex with anyone, I babbled a couple of times about how I wasn’t going to get attached. I think I was mainly amazed that my wild goth friend with nipple piercings would sleep with me. It ended on kind of a weird note, since she got a call from her boyfriend. To be clear, she wasn’t cheating because she and her boyfriend agreed that her having sex with girls was free game. I thought she was pretty good at the time, although I’ve only had really amazing sex with anyone (who was also a casual partner).

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? No.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? The thing I like about casual sex with women, more so than with men is that there’s no worry about sex. Honestly though, we didn’t do any safe sex practices.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was horny. I was sick of never having done anything. Also, I’d always found her kind of attractive.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? I was drunk. I don’t think I’d had that much, but I was fairly new to drinking at the time.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I knew going into it that we weren’t going to go anywhere romantically as she had a boyfriend, and my interest in her was mainly sexual and friendly. I did feel guilty about losing it to someone I wasn’t serious with though. I think I really internalized messages about how losing your virginity should be magical or whatever. I’ve lost contact with her since graduating college, but we went back to normal after that night.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Oh god, when I got my friends alone, I totally bragged. I was really excited. They were actually pretty excited for me.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? I think it was for both of us. She was also drunk, but she seemed pretty okay with it when I saw her later.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I have mixed feelings. I really don’t want to be that person who lost their lesbian virginity in a dank dorm room and considering I’ve had more casual sex than dating/relationship sex, I feel a little bad about it. I also feel like being drunk set up bad habits for me–I’ve also had more alcohol-induced sex than sober sex. But, it was fun, and it’s still awesome that I managed to sleep with a girl I would’ve thought was out of my league.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was that it was an ego-boost. This wild kinky girl who I know has had a lot of wild experiences was going to sleep with ME? That was wild. I think the worst is that I just wish it hadn’t been my first time, and that I hadn’t proudly bragged so much about it.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

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