What’s your gender? Woman
What’s your race/ethnicity? Hispanic / Latino/a
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? San Francisco
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Professor
Religious affiliation: Atheist
What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 30
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
When You Cheat on Your Boyfriend with 5 Girls
How long ago did this hookup happen? 7 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (open)
How would you best classify this hookup? Group sex
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? At the time, 4 of us (Maria, Cho, Emily, me) identified as femme women and 1 person (H) as nonbinary masc. We were attending the same residential college. I was good friends with H, close with Maria, and acquaintances with Cho + Emily.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The details are fuzzy because it was so organic. We were at a party that was winding down, and H invited some of us back to their room — those of us who weren’t quite ready to end the night. We trudged across campus in the snow to H’s dorm, warm and giggly from our buzz. H had a nice setup in his room — nice lighting, good music, and two mattresses low to the ground. They put on a good playlist and we all started making out with each other.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We all kissed each other, went down on each other, and fingered each other. No toys, just tongues and fingers. I’m pretty sure that we all gave each person at least one orgasm… with 5 hotties, you can only imagine the sexy permutations!
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? It ended with us passing out in a naked cuddle-pile. The next morning we recounted our fun and went to brunch together at the nearest dining hall. We spent the next few hours having fantastic sex. It was my first time having sex with someone other than a man, and at the time I was dating a guy who was married (a story for another post). I technically cheated on him w 4 of my friends ???? But it was amazing! I think very fondly of this experience and think it was such a safe and fun environment in which to explore my queer identity. I lost touch with Emily and Cho. I remain good friends with H and we joke about this experience with endearment. I just moved to Maria’s city and would be thrilled to rekindle our FWB (I had some other experiences with her for which I will make separate posts).
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant, Discussed STI testing history
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I called my bf at the time the following morning and told him what happened. In typical heteronormative fashion, he said, “I can’t even be mad that you cheated because you slept with 3 women and that’s really hot.”
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Having sex with women/ non-binary people for the first time with a group of close friends. I felt so safe and carefree
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The spouse of the married person I was then dating didn’t know about us, so I wasn’t practicing ethical nonmonogamy. But my 4 partners in this story knew about my relationship status.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? This is my first time posting on this site. I love the idea of other people reading my experiences, so please comment and tell me what you think!!
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Very positively. My desired change is to lessen the social stigma. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, you do you!
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