Race/ethnicity: East Asian
Location: Southeast Asia
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Cheated on My Boyfriend With an Indian Guy
How long ago did this hookup happen? More than half year ago
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I have always had a thing for the Indian or Punjabi guys in my country. It doesn’t help that they are successful, confident, funny and have nice bodies. So when I met R for the first time at a company’s event, I didn’t hold myself back from flirting with him even though I am in a commited relationship. I found myself attracted to him, I bet he felt the same way too.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? That night, three of us (along with another colleague G who is suspected to be gay) suggested to play dare or truth at G’s hotel room. I was dared to kiss R. No hesitation whatsoever from both of us and the kiss went on for quite some time. In fact, it felt so nice that we went on kissing for a few times, including me licking his nipples. G was watching giddily. Soon, G and I were extremely drunk with the vodka we had. In fact, I believed I passed out. Next thing I knew, I was on my bed (my room was just next-door) being pumped by R.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had vaginal and oral sex. I honestly couldn’t recall much. Pretty much most of my memory of that night was erased (probably due to the vodka). I remember I was bleeding down there so that R had to drag me a few times to the washroom to wash away the blood. R was kinda complaining that it took him quite long yet he was still unable to come, but he did come at last. Apart from that, I remember murmuring apologetically while he was fucking me, no thanks to the effect of vodka that hadn’t worn off. I couldn’t get over the fact that I couldn’t remember much of the sex that I suggested him to come to my room again the day after that morning. I didn’t have an orgasm both times. R wasn’t exactly a good lover either. He mistakenly called another girl’s name several times. And he wasn’t completely into it while we were at it (he was checking his phone while I was underneath him).
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? None. The first time it happened, I woke up to find that he was already pumping without a condom. He came on my stomach. The second time before it happened, I reminded him to bring a condom but he didn’t. He came on my face.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? The excitement, thrill and fun. Apart from that, I was trying to prove that I was still desired and wanted following my last two hook-ups, which didn’t turn out all that well. I have started to see a pattern – that I hopped from one guy to another whenever one of them was leaving me disappointed.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Alcohol. I don’t always have vodka, so I guess that was why I passed out so fast because I had not built up my tolerance for it.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I tried not to think about it. R, although wasn’t a great lover, turns out to be a great network. He at least makes an effort to stay in touch with me every few months. I want nothing more out of him.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one, although G suspected something more than kissing was going on between me and R that night after the truth or dare game.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Consensual. I saw it coming the moment I allowed myself to flirt and indulge in the attention showered by him. Although I was a bit pissed that I couldn’t remember much of the first night, I was glad that whatever happened happened.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Nope, because I invested no feelings in him, so I felt not much remorse towards my boyfriend.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best – an Indian/ Punjabi guy. I still want more of them. Worst – I actually suspected that I got pregnant when my period was late following the hook-ups. It worried me sick for a few days.
In general, it just proved my thinking that casual sex can easily happen if you want it to. I still love my boyfriend but I wanna try out other guys too. In a way, my relationship is flawed (boyfriend can’t satisfy me sexually and there is resentment blossomed from many other issues).
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I wish he was more passionate. I did feel used, but I was using him too.