by Karen

Gender: Female
Age: 25
Race/ethnicity: White
Location: Denver
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
Occupation: Secretary
Relationship status: Married
Religious affiliation: Jewish
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Cheaters Anonymous

How long ago did this hookup happen? Three Weeks

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One Night Stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a tall handsome man with dark hair, broad shoulders and muscles. He is a few years older than me and we met at a bar. I didn’t know him at all before the night we met.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I grew up in a strict Jewish background and sex was something strictly for procreation. My Dad was a strict military man and kept a tight reign on me and my two sisters. My oldest sister rebelled sexually in college and after, god only knows how man men she has actually slept with. My middle sister not so much but she did get pregnant by a coworker and is married to someone else.  Me, I was kept sheltered and barley allowed to date in most of high school. I got involved with a boy senior year, and we married two months after graduation. My parents had married very young so I didn’t find this odd at all. First time I had sex was my wedding night. He was in the Army and I am still a military wife. My husband was overseas for several tours and things were always good when he was home. Past few years though he has been stationed in the US. We talked about starting a family a few times but it just never happened. 
The past year though he has shown no interest in me sexually, despite my attempts to get his attention. I have bought some fancy lingerie, tried to initiate things but he always made up an excuse. Took me a while to figure out he was having a affair with a woman in his unit.
It was very hard for me to deal with at first, and divorce is something forbidden in my background (not that it stopped my sister). However I found myself going out to bars, talking to men and flirting with them. However I was always really nervous and never really got anywhere with them.
One night my husband was out again and I had had enough. I put on a little black dress and went to a bar planning on cheating. I sat down and ordered a drink and I could feel him looking at me. I smiled at him and he walked over. We talked, I touched his arm and we flirted a bit. He kissed me and I liked it, I was attracted to him. He asked if I wanted to get a hotel room and I said yes.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We got our room and I was really nervous. He was pretty patient with me and we talked and sat on the bed. We started kissing and then made out. I stood up so he could unzip my dress and I was standing there in my underwear. He unbuttoned his shirt, and had a number of tattoos on his chest and arms, which I found hot. He removed my bra and said he really liked my breasts. He played with them a bit and sucked them for a few minutes. I then laid back and he pulled my panties off and the time came for him to penetrate me.
I let him, and I am not sure how long he was inside me. I orgasmed, something I had not felt for far too long. He came too, and as I laid there in post-orgasm bliss he started again. He went down on me, something my husband had never done, and I really liked it. I orgasmed again and returned the favor and gave him oral. He came again and we fell asleep for a bit.
We woke up and went a third time, just standard missionary. We went a fourth time with me on top, and I liked that too. We showered together, a lot of kissing and touching and grabbing but no sex this time. He was a great lover and I really enjoyed myself. It ended because morning rolled around and we both had to work. Between the fucking we talked about everything, sports, astronomy, it was all pretty random.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? He used condoms.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Anger at my husband and I was attracted to him, there was also some real lust on my part too.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? I had a Manhattan and a half, not very much. I think he had one drink as well.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was pretty sore for a few days. I really enjoyed my wild night, I hadn’t gone four times in one night since my husband and I were first married. I felt guilty for violating my marriage. He said he knew I was married and said if this was a one time thing that was ok, but he gave me his business card and wrote his cell on the back and said to call him if I wanted to as well. He kissed me and grabbed my ass a bit before leaving. I have thought about calling him a few times but I haven’t, yet. I slipped home and I don’t even think my husband knew I was gone all night. I am grateful to my hookup as this has awakened my sexual desires and has made me realize a few thing.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Told my oldest sister who wasn’t really surprised. She has been encouraging me to leave my husband for a few months. Part of the reason I posted it on here was I hadn’t really shared it with anyone else.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? For me very much and for him as well.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Somewhat, I feel really guilty about violating the sanctity of marriage. Still I wasn’t the first person to cheat and honestly I don’t feel that guilty for cheating, just the breaking of my vows.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best part was letting loose and having some incredible sex, finally.  Worst part wasn’t the guilt I felt for violating my marriage, but the realization that my marriage is over. I wouldn’t call this casual sex, as I feel it was pretty meaningful to me. What this changed is I am tired of being taken for granted by my husband and being cheated on.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

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