by The other woman

Gender: Female
Age: 20
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Location: Southern California
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Nursing student
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Cheater’s Fuck Buddy

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 weeks

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Fuck buddies

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met him last summer at a party and I was just not all that into him. He started messaging me on Facebook and eventually got my number following the party. He asked me to go out with him a number of times, but I was just busy and not all that interested. Before he could convince me, I moved out of state and our texting conversations came to an end.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? When I saw him at the bar a few weeks ago he gave me that sideways look and immediately came up to hug me and ask how I was and all that. After buying me drinks and talking to me all night, the bars closed and he said we needed to keep the party going. A bunch of us ended up back at his place, and by the end of the night I ended up in his bed.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He was everything that I like in bed. Super aggressive, and really intense.. Pulling my hair, pinning me down, and covering my mouth so I’d be quiet. I’m all about the guy taking charge, and that’s exactly what he did. The crazy thing was just how well we worked together. The transitions were perfect and we were way too in sync for this to be just another one night stand. It was about 9 AM when we finally settled in, he pulled me back over to him, and we fell asleep completely wrapped up in each other.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? None… Stupid I know.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? He made me feel really comfortable around him, and clearly I was physically attracted to him.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Alcohol. Too much.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The day after we hooked up I was telling my friend about the night, and she naturally decided to creep a little on Facebook. She searched his name and stopped in the middle of her sentence to ask me if I knew who Miranda was… Cause apparently she’s in a relationship with the guy you just had sex with. I searched his name to confirm and nothing showed up… I looked at our messages from the previous summer and the name was changed to “Facebook user.” Him blocking me pretty much confirmed that the girlfriend was actually a thing. After confronting him and talking for a few hours I found out he had tried to break up with her, but couldn’t do it right before she got deployed. He thought if he broke up with her she might actually kill herself, without any of her friends to help her, surrounded by a bunch of marines trying to get in her pants. I thought that’d be the end of it… And it should have been. But somehow we ended up together again, and I’ve spent the last three nights with him. The pattern of getting drunk and hooking up is getting to be routine. At least ten people now have seen us end up in bed together, and a few of them are good friends with his gf… He doesn’t seem to care if people know he’s cheating.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A few friends. They all have told me he’s a dick and I should stay away, but obviously I’m not listening.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Not sure yet… I feel terrible for the girlfriend, and am still trying to decide if he actually cares about me or is just a complete scumbag. So, we’ll see.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best: How well we work together, and how amazing he is in bed. 

Worst: the fact that he has a girlfriend and I’m just the fuck buddy.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

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