Race/ethnicity: White British
Current location: Manchester UK
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15-20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1
Cheating With His Best Friend
How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 months?
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One night stand
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I knew him very well, he was my boyfriend’s best friend. We got along well and had a fair few things in common. When it comes to sex though he doesn’t have any morals it would seem, especially if he has been drinking. The first time I met him, he asked me if we could have sex in some bushes. This was before I was dating his best friend but his then girlfriend stood right next to us. He lost that girlfriend because he cheated on her with her best friend.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I knew I was going to break up with my boyfriend when I cheated on him, but I was waiting until after we went on a holiday we had booked just for convenience. All of us and more were out drinking when he started playing with my belt loops and saying he wanted to go down on me. I told him he was being really inappropriate and to stop. I was still fairly sober. Later on he was so drunk we decided someone needed to take him back to my boyfriends (where we were all staying) and I volunteered because my boyfriend was being a total nob and it was a great excuse to leave. We stopped for food to sober him up and then drank some more, stupidly. He instigated it again and being more drunk I decided just to go for it. I was also incredibly angry with my boyfriend and generally unhappy.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Lots of sex, all around my boyfriend’s living room. Nothing too kinky. We both gave and received lots of oral. In the time between the shagging there was a little bit of sneaky bum pinching and arms round my waist from behind type of activity, which made me feel like a giggling school girl. The sex was pretty good and he made me feel good about myself again after feeling like utter shit for so long. He told me I was beautiful and asked if we could make it a regular thing. I said yes but we never actually did.
Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? Yes and yes.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? No discussions, no condoms but very luckily, no baby.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Selfishness, horniness and slight revenge maybe? I also liked the fact that what I was doing was totally wrong.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Lots of drinking. Probably some ketamine too because that was always floating about.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We were alone at one point the weekend after and he put his arms round my waist and went in to kiss me and I pulled away. We never discussed it and he didn’t try it again but there was some tension, which my boyfriend picked up on. We have since broken up, and he tried it again at a house party not long ago. He asked me if I was up for it and I said yes. Then about 2 minutes later I fell asleep haha.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My friends. They understood why I did it but told me not to again seeing as he is kind of a nob when it comes to trying it on with everyone he shouldn’t.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I didn’t feel as guilty as I thought I would. My boyfriend had some serious anger issues and was sometimes violent and pretty mean to me. Other than that he was a lovely person and he was genuinely sorry for all that he did but it still meant that I didn’t feel that bad for doing something that would hurt him right back. It gave me back the power in my mind.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best thing was the restoration of my confidence. The worst was the fear that people would find out and not want to be my friends any more.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
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