What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? Southeast Asian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Executive
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Experimental
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 18
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1
Chemistry vs Compatibility
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 year
What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He’s caucasian, tall, lean, nice hair and smile, handsome, deep voice, intelligent.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met on Tinder. We got along well on the first two dates. He made it clear he found me sexy but he was a gentleman. I made the first move on the third date.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I had the best sex with him. He made me feel sexy. Everything I tried, he loved. He wanted to know what made me tick, and he wasn’t afraid to go along with it. It ended because he wanted more after 6 months of sex almost every night. We hung out a lot, went on weekend trips. I was still dating on the side. It wasn’t serious for me. It’s Tinder! Sex was great but I couldn’t see a future. We weren’t very compatible lifestyle and hobbies and values wise.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was in limbo. The great sex made me stay longer than I should have, and my staying led him to believe it could have been more. I played along because the sex was great and it’s nice to not have to fuck around and maybe get mediocre sex. He still wants to date me. But i met someone I’m fully compatible with, but sex isn’t as exciting, so I think about that hookup a lot.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), To feel more desirable, Power / Dominance, Didn’t want to disappoint my partner
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Best girlfriends. They liked him. And thought I was being selfish and should have cut him loose early.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? It’s made me confused about chemistry vs compatibility. I wish I ever knew I could have such sexual chemistry with him. Or that I could overlook comparability in daily life, which we did not have.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex. And good conversation.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The emotional guilt and keeping him for my own selfish reasons, then wondering about him now still.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I think I’ve come to own my sexuality a lot more, especially in terms of what I like and want
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? At some point I think I confused chemistry with love. Good sex does that to you. Until we semi lived together with weekends at each other’s places and it drove me nuts.
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