What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 42
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? The Netherlands, Amsterdam
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Teacher
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Gay/lesbian
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 years
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met online and talked for a few days before we decided to meet in real life. She seemed interesting and was a bit flirtatious which I liked a lot.
She was a nice looking Caribbean woman, a little tough on the outside but very sweet.
We first met in a bar and the day after she came to my house.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The day we met in the bar, after some talking and flirting she started to kiss me. Later outside when we said goodbye we kissed again, very intensely this time and she asked to come home with me, but I told her I didn’t do that on the first date.
So the next day she came over to my house. We started kissing again and before I knew it our hands were all over each other.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had sex for hours, sometimes falling asleep in between, but then waking up again and continuing.
We kissed, we caressed, we started to stimulate each others clitoris, we used our fingers and tongue to fuck each other, we used a dildo to fuck, we did 69, I sat on her mouth with my pussy, she spanked my butt, squeezed my nipples.
I was so horny and so was she. Finally, I met someone with the same libido I had.
I was really surrendering to the moment and enjoyed every second, nothing was holding me back and she seemed to feel the same way. She was really attentive to me and if I was enjoying myself.
We talked enthusiastically about how great it was. At some point she had to go because of work, but we met a few times after that.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We kept on talking through WhatsApp and met about 10 times in a period of 6 months.
We had made a deal to keep it just fun, nothing more. I felt nothing more, I like her, but all I wanted out of it was sex, to my own surprise I must add, because until then I was only in serious relationships.
At some point, she started to have feelings so she kept a little distance from me.
Until two years after she would send me a message every now and then to ask me whether I was still single and reminding me of how great the sex was. I am grateful to have met her, she kinda brought me back in touch with my sexuality, it was amazing how easily I could give myself and surrender to someone I had just met.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Just to a few friends, to share my experience. They thought it was good for me
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Enjoying sex and my sexuality so freely and trying new things
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? When using the dildo’s I thought about safe sex but I didn’t talk to her about it, because I felt ashamed to ask, so we shared the same toys without condoms, looking back that’s something I feel stupid about and would never do that again.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Casual sex is not really my thing, I enjoy sex more with someone I’m in love with, that’s what I learned. But at that period of time, it gave me a lot of satisfaction and kind of liberated me sexually
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think everybody should do what feels right for them. Right now I don’t see myself having casual sex even if I was single. It feels too shallow in a way, although it also was important for me to get back in touch with enjoying sex after a few relationships where sex was hardly important for my partners.
I think it’s great people are more open about sex, their sexuality and being able to enjoy it freely. At least where I live, in Amsterdam.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s great that people open up about something as amazing as sex
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!