What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 35
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
What’s your sexual orientation? Unsure / Questioning
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Inexperienced, unsure
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? maybe a year ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Non Paid Sex
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I found someone through an ad. I had never met him before. He was big- triple my size. He was friendly. I have no memory of what he really looked like. It didn’t matter to me. We met on a quiet road in the middle of the night (I obviously wasn’t considering safety at the time).
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I’ve struggled with life and sexuality and sex. I’ve always liked girls and fought against it. I’m very behind in life experience due to my past. When this happened, I was in a bad place and didn’t care about anything. I just wanted someone to go down on me. I had never experienced it.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He was friendly. We had already agreed there would be no intercourse and I wouldn’t be giving him a blowjob. He got hard quickly. It was dark and we were crammed in his backseat. He was a big guy and there was very little space. He sucked on my nipples a little, then just went down. I was wet but didn’t feel aroused. He told me to calm down. I thought I was calm, but he pointed out my whole body was shaking. I told him I was just cold. After awhile, he asked if he could slap his dick against my pussy. He was saying please. I told him only if he had a condom (there was a little fluid dripping). I told him no sex. He agreed. He played around a little, then asked if he could put the tip in. I was kind of being whiny and asking him why. We had already agreed on the no sex thing. He just kept asking. The car was hot, it was uncomfortable, he just hovered over me. I said he could only touch the tip of it against me. Suddenly his full weight dropped down onto me. I knew immediately. I felt my stomach drop, I was pissed. I asked if it was all the way in and he said yes. He knew I was upset and tried to be nice about it but he really just wanted to have sex. I felt like I was a toy. He would lift my entire body up and position me in ways that were better for him- not noticing I’d be upside down, twisted like a pretzel, in pain, my face shoved in the seat. I just kept telling him it hurt. He was really into it though. At some point I started crying and he stopped. He was sorry, he got carried away. I didn’t tell him I was a virgin. He made sure I was okay and we parted ways.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I cried, showered, slept. It hurt, obviously.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I consented to most of it- I initiated it.
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I called my friend and told her what happened. She was mainly in shock because it was so out of character for me. She was concerned that I met a complete stranger. I told her we weren’t supposed to have sex, but it ended up that we did. She said ‘obviously, what did you expect? He wasn’t going to? He met up with you for a reason!’ It was true. And I actually don’t care. It was probably a good thing. At least I wasn’t a virgin anymore.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Other
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? It wasn’t what I was expecting. I regret saying yes to him slapping up against me and ‘putting the tip in’. It was basically saying yes to having sex. Which wasn’t what I wanted.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I can now say I’m not a virgin.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Having sex.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I didn’t have an opinion before, so this IS basically what casual sex means to me.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Not recommended.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I guess if both people agree and you are safe, it’s fine to have casual sex.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think the project normalizes casual sex. Instead of ignoring that it happens, it gives an outlet for people to tell their story.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!
What’s Your Fantasy? Click here to be part of the largest survey on sexual fantasies ever!