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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 26
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? England
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 22(+)
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2

Conference hook-up

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 nights ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We were both attending the same conference. I had emailed out the other delegates asking if any of them wished to share a taxi from the station. She responded, so we met there and headed to the conference. We were together talking for about an hour and a half before we started meeting other conference delegates. In that time, we had a great conversation – a lot of it about human sexuality and relationships from an academic perspective. It was clear that we both had very liberal views on sex, including a positive attitude towards casual sexual and promiscuity. After our time that day at the conference, everyone was heading back relatively early (before 11). I got back to my room then got a text from her, which was a comment on the fact that everyone had finished so soon. I suggested getting some drink somewhere and bringing it back to my room, which we did. We chatted for a bit. It was quite clear it was going to happen.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I initiated it with kissing. We were in my room at the conference accommodation.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? She soon revealed that her period had started just a few hours before. I said I didn’t mind, but there were certain things I wouldn’t do in that case (e.g. perform oral). I also offered to put a glove on so that I could finger her, but she didn’t seem too fussed about that. I had my ‘kit’ with me, including a vibrating device that I then used on her. She was impressed by the fact that I carry a ‘kit’ around that has various pleasurable devices, mainly for women.

I kissed, massaged, and stimulated in other ways various parts of her body for a while. She also played with my penis in her hand. We then had penetrative sex in a few positions. I had a lot to drink that day, but I was able to finish in doggy position with a condom on.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We lay down and spoke for a little while. I asked if she wanted me to do anymore to pleasure her. I wasn’t sure she had orgasmed. She either didn’t or she did a few times. It was hard to tell. Given her bleeding and my drunken/tired state, it was hard to do a full range of positions to ensure she had definitely orgasmed (a few times). I like to do quite a lot to ensure a partner has a few orgasms before I even think about penetrative sex. There were the reasons I was ‘somewhat’ satisfied with it. She said she was very satisfied though and didn’t want anymore.

After talking for a bit with my arm around her, we cleared up and she went back to her room. We didn’t make it obvious to others at the conference that anything had gone on. The next night, I texted her to see if she wanted to hang out again. She needed to prepare for her talk the next day though. I wasn’t sure if that was just an excuse. I said I would be up til late, so if she changed her mind, she could just let me know. She said she would try to. Didn’t hear from her in the end.

I was slightly wondering whether she just didn’t want to again or if she was just tired and needed to prepare and sleep before her talk. That was very likely as all this texting was going on after 01:30 in the morning. If we had hooked-up after she had done her prep, we would not have got any sleep until about 5am.

After the conference was over, I said my goodbyes to everyone. I managed to catch her on her own. She gave me a little gift and a note saying it was great to meet me, and she said nice stuff about my research. It was really nice. We both believed in a more sexually casual world and we got to act on that belief at this conference. She was also from a country far away, so there was no problems whatsoever in terms of expectations. I texted her later thanking her for the gift and note. We both hope to see each other at another conference in the future, and I am sure we will. We also now have each other on Facebook.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Thought it was an important experience to have, Making new friends

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Bonding with another person and making a friend.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The fact that she was on her period and this limited some things we could do. I wanted to do more for her.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No. My beliefs are quite firmly set.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I love it. I want more people to love it and learn how to do it better. I want society’s attitude to become more positive towards it.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Fantastic

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!