by Pollyanna

Gender: Female
Age: 39
Race/ethnicity: White
Current location: England
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Doctor
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Confusing

How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 months ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Friends with benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met on an online dating site. He was 12 years younger. I didn’t ever intend to meet him when we started chatting, I didn’t even check out his profile til the day before, but we sort of clicked. I was really nervous before I met him.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We had an initial date where I was completely thrown by the fact that he was nothing like I’d imagined but somehow that evening we had amazing chemistry. We left it that he would come and spend the night that weekend and sexted constantly til the day before.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Pretty straight forward sex. Urgent. Oral, titwank, girl on top, doggy, missonary etc
We carried on meeting for a few weeks for crazy sessions where we’d go at it like crazy. He’d come to mine,  I’d jump on the train to his. We’d do it all day, 5 or 6 times in each go. On the floor, stairs, kitchen table at night with the blinds open and lights on, everywhere

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? Through masturbation only.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We were both checked but used condoms until sure

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Just the amazing chemistry. Didn’t expect it but couldn’t say no once I’d felt it

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Sometimes we’d drink together, mostly not. He would take cocaine when we were apart which was probably the cause of the crazy sexting/phone sex.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I actually got far more attached than I intended (women!). We had a big fall out when he realised I was dating other guys (I presumed he was seeing other people too as we always said it was just sex). But decided to stay in touch.

We’re still in contact every day by text as he says he really likes me and wants to be friends (but also emphasises I shouldn’t expect anything other than friendship!) It’s hard. He occasionally tries to turn the conversations sexual but I bat it off. Either it’s on or it’s not-no grey area for me.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my family and friends, they thought it was fine as long as I was ok with it. Kudos to me for pulling a man 12 years younger! They were less keen when they could see I was getting attached.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? We both discussed the outcome at an early stage so we knew what it was but there’s no accounting for feelings getting involved…

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? At the moment I regret it because im still struggling to understand why he wants to stay in touch. My head knows it’ll be easier to cut contact but my hearts not ready 🙁

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The sex was amazing because of the chemistry. Its definitely set a benchmark for how attracted I feel to a man. I’m relaxed about sex, if you enjoy it, it’s all good!

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? For women especially I would say go for the hookup but keep it short term. Feelings creep in when you’re hooking up with someone for too long.

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