This post is sponsored by The T Bar.


What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 42
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Utah, USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Self-Employed
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (open)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Um, how about “constantly evolving”?
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Somewhere in the 60-70 range…
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 8

Convincing My Man to Swing With Me. 🙂

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2014

What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? Group sex

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was restless. Restless and in need of some serious spice. My partner, let’s call him Tom, and I have always been close, but sexually, we had grown apart over the years, and our sex life had dwindled to maybe once a year. Maybe less than once a year. God I hate admitting that. (If I’m being candid, it’s probably one of the reasons I found this site and started posting on it back in 2014….) I needed to find some way to spice things up with Tom or I knew I was going to find satisfaction elsewhere without him. So I began looking for a single female willing to have a 3-way with Tom and me for his upcoming birthday surprise. He’s always said that’s been a fantasy of his (isn’t it every straight guy’s fantasy?) and so I thought, “what the hell?”. Neither of us is the jealous type and it could be really fun. So I started looking. What I ended up finding was a little different. 😉

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? After looking unsuccessfully for weeks, I finally found a woman who was very interested. We exchanged pictures, (I’ll never forget the one she sent me of her in the shower…HOT. Her nipples were gorgeous. So lickable.) and then I found out that she was married and her husband would only agree to let her join in if we agreed to make it a full on couples thing. So I nervously approached Tom and let him know what I was trying to do for his birthday, explaining the situation.
(What would he think of me? Would he be happy? Angry? Hurt?)
I knew this was going to be a defining moment in our relationship because what I was asking him to do wasn’t exactly mainstream.
I was kind of shocked when he agreed! It turns out Tom was just as restless as I was. Crazy what can happen when you make an effort to communicate with your partner, eh?
So all 4 of us met for dinner to test the waters. I hadn’t had group sex since my 20’s, and even then it wasn’t really full-on group sex, so I was crazy nervous and so was Tom, but we decided to just roll with it. I’m SO glad we did.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The four of us hung out at this dinner table in a restaurant with dark mood lighting and we had a few drinks. When we finally made it back to our hotel room, the two guys left to go get more drinks and let us ladies “warm up”. I was able to let the liquid courage take charge and after a little flirting, we took our tops off and started caressing each others tits. I’m such a sucker for beautiful breasts. I loved rubbing her tits against mine and watching both our nipples contract and harden with pleasure. It felt so good. She was so soft and yummy. I couldn’t take it anymore and I kissed her. I’d forgotten how much I love kissing a woman. Soft, supple lips, just the right amount of tongue, and the way she moaned sent me over the edge. By the time the men came back in the room, we were laying fully naked on the bed, lips locked, tongues licking, legs entwined, and fingers inserted deep inside each other. Tom had never seen me with another person and as I came up for air, I could immediately see he was turned on.
The other woman and I eventually turned our attention to the men. I began making out with her husband and she began making out with Tom. That quickly led to some tasty oral sex. I admit, it was nice to feel a cock in my mouth that was new. I imagine Tom felt the same way with her pussy. New can be fun. I liked this guy’s cock. It wasn’t too big, his head was different than Tom’s and I enjoyed the variety.
Eventually the woman and I made our way to Tom’s cock together and we started sharing him, each taking a turn to slide our wet mouth up and down his dick while the other one gently sucked his balls. We’d stop every once in a while to make out because I couldn’t resist her lips, but we made sure Tom got his birthday present of two girls at once. I kept looking up to make sure he was having a good time. He clearly was.
When I went back to her husband and let him take me doggy style, I had a front row seat to watch Tom fuck this new woman hard. He was having a blast. I remember taking a moment to truly ask myself: “Does this bother me watching my partner have sex with another woman?” I asked myself a few times and each time my heart said “not at all.” I could tell he was having a great time and that’s what mattered. (Don’t get me wrong, I was having a kick ass time too!)

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, we went our separate ways and have occasionally met up again, but those stories are for another post… 🙂

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Sterilization

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I’ve confided in one friend who was pretty shocked and didn’t know how to react. We will see if it affects our friendship or not.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The best thing was that both Tom and I agreed to start swinging. We aren’t WAY into it, but one or both of us we will meet up with another couple a few times a year. Tom and I have grown closer as a result. We are more open with our sexual needs now and having sex more often. Not as often as I’d like, but more often.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I didn’t orgasm. I still struggle with completely surrendering during sex. I have too many body image issues. I also respond mostly to aural stimulation and a kinky, creative imagination and every time I ask for that or instigate it during sex, the person usually climaxes before I do.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I love swinging! It’s liberating, it’s adventurous, it’s fun, and the people we have met in the lifestyle are incredibly cool and laid back.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’m pretty sure I think like a dude when it comes to sex. I love it often and with a lot of people. I still have to figure out my own sexual hangups, but I think casual sex can be a healthy way to figure all that out, and I know it’s been a total blast for Tom and I. I was raised in a cult that viewed sex out of wedlock as a sin almost as horrendous as murder. I see now how damaging that way of thinking was for me. Sex is beautiful. Casual sex is too. It’s adult fun.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Love it! Writing about past and current sex play has been cathartic for me, not to mention it’s helped me keep a record of some really amazing memories. I love reading about other people’s adventures, I love the anonymity of it, the slightly naughtiness of it, and I also love that websites like this provide me a place to discover that my thoughts and sexual desires aren’t taboo. I also love that this website is female and male focused.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!