What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 49
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Southern Tier, NY
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Human services worker
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Only bi when in 3 somes or more when men involved.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 25
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? One month
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My partner was/and still is my next door neighbor. He is bi and lives there with two gay men, one being his current partner. He is 29 years old. We had never hooked up before. We have been neighbors 7 years and had just casually spoke until about a year ago when we started hanging out outside to smoke together, sometimes in the middle of the night.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hookup was not planned though we had done a lot of flirting when we were alone. I think a lot of what led up to it was the other guy he lives with is my age and out of the blue he sent myself and the partner texts threatening if we ever did anything sexual the partner would be kicked out and he himself wouldn’t help me with household stuff that needs to be done which I can’t do. He sent a few texts over period of 5 weeks. When I confronted him face to face he told me his medications make him say mean stuff but he didn’t mean it. My thought was if he said it several times over 5 weeks he may not mean it but it’s in his subconscious…so one night when I was smoking with the partner and flirting, despite the fact I’m 20 years older than he is, we made plans to have sex that night when his roommate and partner went to bed.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It was better than I expected. He was very generous. He fucked me in missionary to start, then had me ride him when he was sitting on a loveseat. We ended with him fucking me hard doggie style. He made me cum numerous times with his cock and his finger rubbing my clit. It was quick, which was my only downfall. We were both paranoid we would get caught. He talked to me when he was fucking me, telling me basic porn stuff like he could fuck me all night.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt good about it the next day. We still occasionally hook up when it’s safe to do so.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Discussed STI testing history
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, To feel more desirable, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Submission / Relinquishing power
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Another man I hook up with. He was turned on.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Very little time.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? When I was in high school and college I was very much against casual sex; I believed that I would find my Mr. Right, get married, and have my dream family. Now my beliefs are that if it feels good then do it.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s awesome!
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