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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 50
What’s your race/ethnicity? East Asian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Canada
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Economist
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 50+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Cougar Chronicles

How long ago did this hookup happen? Last week

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a handsome young man who messaged me on a dating website in London. I was due to come to the UK for a vacation as well as job search in my field of work. I was drawn to his UK accent and he was drawn to my Canadian one.

We seemed to hit it off splendidly on the mental front with many shared likes, dislikes, wonderments, obsessions, and questions of life and the world. I am considerably older than him and I was reluctant to get involved on a sexual, personal level and shared such concerns. He was adamant that age was a maligned obstacle preventing two people from connecting who might benefit from such. We spoke almost daily and learned about each other.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We made plans to meet in London with my intention that we would be friends which is always very important to me.

He surprised me and arrived the night before. He was a gorgeous Indian boy and seemed very mature for his age. We chatted and connected well. Things became intense and we started kissing and embracing. As corny as it sounds, I wanted to get closer to this soul and share myself with him, not so much thoughts of satisfying lust.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had sex five or six times over the course of the next two days in the flat. Our bodies seemed to fit well together — there were no weird limb placements or awkward moves. I was beguiled to be honest at how compatible we were.

Between bouts of sex, we continued to chat and share more of each others’ lives, exploring what life was like in Canada versus UK, and whether we would like the others’ lifestyle. It was all very refreshing for me to get on so well with someone much younger than me.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We discussed how we could make a long distance relationship work being two continents apart and started exploring ideas.

He left for the train home and promised that he would call. I was cautious about believing him but wanted to as we had gotten on so well.

He did message the next day but then the communication abruptly ceased. Perhaps it was the temporary insanity of immediate lust after all that caused the promises to spew forth.

I held onto the hope that he would get in touch and reality finally settled in that I was likely a sexual experience to be had by a thirty something, attractive, single man. I messaged him one last time and acknowledged that I am resigned to his “ghosting” me, that it was all cool, and that I was happy to have met him and shared the time and the experience with him. I told him to take care and have a good life. Post mortem thought…he might be having relations with other girls with a numb conscience and self-granted impunity. I did wish that he was more honest with me about his intentions as I would have been into him just for the physical experience. I may never know his side of the story — whether he was a cub out for a good experience, actually married or with another, or he changed his mind about our being from different worlds.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Discussed STI testing history

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, Making new friends

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex was probably some of the best I have had.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The emotional hue underlying the experience which turned out to be artificial and disingenuous.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Possibly. I do enjoy casual sex for its own sake. I think I have a healthy sense of sexuality and self.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Sex between consenting adults should be an individual choice and not shamed or commented on by others, societal factions, etc.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I love it. CSP is providing a great service to society in sharing thoughts about sex and how humans interact. Healthy and liberating.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!

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