What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? France
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1
couple gone wrong
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Paid sex
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? First off: it was not paid sex. But I imagine this is how it feels. My partners were a couple where the woman was interested in watching her man be with another woman. This was fine by me since I was interested in men. I was recently single so I wanted to experiment “while I could”
I met the couple online and they seemed so desparate that I said yes for their sake… forgetting about mine.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I arrived at their house. We had dinner and drank some wine. I was extremely nervous but tried to hide it. All I was thinking was “I need to get this over with”.
While the woman was tidying the kitchen the man kissed me. I was not attracted to him physically or in any other way. He just wasn’t my type.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had vaginal sex and oral sex. no girl-on-girl. When it was over and I thought I could have a good nights sleep, I found out that apparently I was supposed to share a bed with him. This man I was not at all attracted to. We had sex again in the morning, me and the man. I had told him earlier I liked to have men cum in me. But when it happened with him I felt wrong and dirty and like all the soap in the world couldn’t wash off the filth I had in me. I just wanted to go home and be alone.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt traumatised for weeks. My hopes were never to see them again. They were actually very nice people, but I didn’t realise how much it would effect me to have sex with someone whom I was not physically attracted to, or attracted to in any other way.
I met another guy the week after, who I had met once before, and ended up going home with him just to get the other experience out of my system.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, Intoxication, Didn’t want to disappoint my partner
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Not at all
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? 1 or 2 friends. They felt sorry for me.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Do you regret this hookup? Very much
Why do you regret this hookup? I know I should have said no, but I hope others can learn from my mistake.
I felt horrible and dirty for weeks after.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I do regret it but I have also learned from it, so something positive did happen. I am more careful of who I have sex with. I can’t have sex with a complete stranger. I can’t plan sex with someone I have yet to meet.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I was not turned on mentally.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. I have realised I can’t hook-up with men I don’t know. I can know them for 2 hours or 2 years, but I have to know if there is a different kind of chemistry before I can get naked with them!
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I feel like I have had enough flings and flirts and people I have taken home once or twice…. I am actually not looking for a boyfriend but I am also not looking for anything superficial. A friend with benefits (or 3) would be the best at this time.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? great!
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!