What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 42
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? United States
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Operational QA
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Straight
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
Coworker in need
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 year ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I’d know her for years prior. Always in a work environment, so we never really had a serious conversation though I always thought she was a cool chick. Light brown hair, just under 5 foot, very bubbly personality. The kind of person everyone likes to be around. Just a lot of fun! I’d only run into her once every few months or so. Eventually she married another coworker which I thought was great! Great girl found love with what seemed to be a cool guy. Very happy for them both. It wasn’t until several years later when we had the opportunity to sit down and get caught up that I learned it hadn’t been a happy marriage. Among several other issues, she informed me it had become a sex less marriage, in fact she had gone over a year without it. I’d check in with her via phone call every now and then, it would start as a work related call, and end with her personal issues and challenges in her marriage.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? A year or passed until one day during a random conversation over instant messenger I suggested I offer her some pity sex. Much to my surprise she responded with “I accept!….YES Please!” We started toying with the idea of a quick affair. I have a healthy marriage, yet needed something at the time. I was starving for something different, something new. She admitted she’d always found me attractive, even more so than her husband. We started exchanging dirty pictures. Would talk dirty over messenger daily. Seriously drove each other insane with sexual desire. Finally I had a work trip to her town on the horizon and we planned to hook up and make it happen. I arrived the afternoon before the work event and she met and drove me to my hotel.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Upon entering my hotel room we were both faced with the awkward fact that we’d never even hugged before, let alone anything more. We spent at least 20 minutes sitting on the bed, doing small talk and trying to find a way to break the ice. Finally we agreed to force the issue, though slowly, and removed our shirts and try some back rubs…with her bra still on. Again, moving a little slow. After about 5 minutes of a rather awkward set of back rubs we agreed to lay down and cuddle. This set something off in her. After maybe 30 seconds she leaned over and kissed me. We kissed for a minute or so until she got up and removed all of her clothes. I followed her lead and undressed as well. We laid back down at which point she asked that I get on top of her. We assumed the missionary position. I slowly penetrated her and was absolutely amazed how good she felt. She was extremely wet! Much more of an intense feeling from what I’ve become used to with my wife. She reach her orgasm after about 3 pumps, something that she’d later admit both surprised and embarrassed her. We continued for several minutes until I finished inside her. Would have loved to have gone longer, but it was incredibly difficult to last that long with that level of intensity. After I finished we remain in the missionary position until we finally got up , dressed and decided to grab some dinner all the while laughing with the thought of “Did we just do that?” We finished dinner and were about to head back up to the room for another round when her husband called. She decided it would be smart to head home. I agreed.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We had planned for another hook up later that trip, but with work and timing it just didn’t work out. We promised we’d try and meet up at the minimum of 5 or 6 times a year, but again we could never make it work between schedules and living in different states.
We are still good friends today, and have a huge sense of humor over the whole thing. Obviously were much closer friends , but nothing physical. We still speak often. She is currently undergoing a divorce. I even give her dating advice.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Never told anyone.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Totally recharged me. Gave me a quick escape from my normal sex life, and allowed something incredibly intense and exciting. It even made sex with my wife better. For her, she only says it was exactly what she needed at the time. And will jokingly thank me to this day.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I wish we could have experience each other at least a few more times. The chemistry was amazing but ultimately lead to some emotional attachment for both of us.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. It show’d how even quick hook up outside of a marriage can completely relight sexual passion and drive.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? No
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? It’s a hard call. It depends on the situation of both parties and how it’s used. In the end, nobody should get hurt.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Very interesting to read similar stories on here. It makes me think it’s more common than I thought.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!