by Rebecca

Gender: Female
Age: 27
Race/ethnicity: White
Current location: United States
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
Occupation: Stay at home mother
Relationship status: Married
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? I’d say I’m 60% for the mens and 40% for the ladies
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Six
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Cozy Fuck

How long ago did this hookup happen? The Other Day

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Friends-with-benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My husband and I are in an open relationship, and Mike is a mutual friend of ours. I met him via our neighbors after we started getting close to them not long after we moved. He’s of average height, black hair, brown skin, big brown puppy dog eyes. I’ve known Mike for about three years now, and I wasn’t instantly attracted to him. Not that he wasn’t attractive, mind you. 😉 Being a very funny, cool, and laid back dude, he grew on me hardcore until the point where when my husband and I would go to see him, I would leave telling hubby about my now intense attraction and subsequent horniness that was verging on uncontrollable. [I tell my husband everything and he’s VERY into it. c:]

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I thought I was being obvious telling him he was hot and I was in an open marriage, but wasn’t sure if I should make a move because most people aren’t cool with doing someone’s wife. It really started when I messaged him on facebook. I have a lot of trouble saying what’s on my mind, but for some reason not typing. I straight up asked him, “If I started making out with you, would you stop me?” He took a whole second to say, “Probably not, Rebecca, you are a very attractive lady.” I still didn’t know what to do but I figured I would take it from there. I ventured to his house alone (my husband would’ve come but we didn’t have a sitter for our son) and started hanging out like usual, toking up and me growing secretly ever horny. Not sure still if I should make a move, I was relieved when he turned off the lights and took me in his arms. I held him for a whole minute before my mouth wandered to his and we were quick with the making out. I love making out!! We hooked up that night, but the second time was the one I wanted to write about but I feel like I needed the background for the story.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Making my way back to his house the second time about a week later, I was all aflutter. I had been thinking about him a lot, but I wasn’t sure how he felt or what he was thinking about the whole thing. He’d never done something like this before, and my husband and I had been trying to put him at ease about it. Started out casually, talking and toking. We were in his bathroom so we wouldn’t get smoke in the rest of his house because his son was asleep on the couch. He took a shower, I kept smoking and was just about to join him when he got out of the shower. Started kissing and groping, I bit his nipples because he told me previously that he liked it. He knows that I also like to be bitten. (Seriously. like. it.)  Always a gentlemen, we took the candles from the bathroom sconce into the bedroom where the making out continued. I slowly made my way down to his dick and worked on perfecting my blowjob craft. It’s a point of pride with me to give good blowjobs. He surprised me by flipping down and eating me out. Outside of my hubs, no one had eaten me out prior. I was enjoying it, but I have a very sensitive clit and I guess most people think you gotta be right on it. Feeling like the weird one, I didn’t want to be bossy or make him feel insecure, I didn’t say anything until it just got to be too much. By the time I did, it ended up making him insecure 🙁 (Not my intention!!) He got on top and we were going low and slow. I did my usual enjoying it sounds when he got the impression that something was wrong. I told him that I was enjoying it, and he continued. With every thrust I would feel the most delightful tingles throughout my body. So good that we waited too long to get water for our cottony mouths! We took a break for that, though. He started talking to me and wondered if he’d given me an orgasm, and that he had tried so hard. I told him no, but I don’t really have sex to have orgasms anyway because frankly, they’re often more trouble than they’re worth. Sex is amazing to me either way. I tried to explain my view that I don’t think it’s my partner’s job to give me one. I don’t really think that anybody could and it seems like the way I get one is rather not fun for boners in general so fuck it. I really don’t care but he didn’t (maybe still doesn’t) believe me. He thought he should get to bed but we stood there intimately nevertheless, kissing, holding, wanting. I was quickly aroused again and I shoved him into the bedroom, hoping to quell his obvious insecurity about the whole orgasm thing. I just wanted to have sexy sex!! I jumped on top and gave it my best go for an orgasm. Still very hot, very luscious sex. So, so very hot. My brain chemicals were going all crazy. I got pretty close but was not disappointed when we stopped. Again he asked me if I had an orgasm, and I said I was really close. I asked him if he did, and the answer was probably or some such ambiguous thing. He seemed tired and said that it was my fault with my enthusiasm and youth. 😉 (I’m only three years his junior, lol) I got dressed and went home to have more crazy sex with my husband who was waiting for that very thing.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? No I did not and I’m pretty sure he did. Honestly I’m wondering why it’s so important…like I said I like sex, orgasm or not.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Mike is one of my closest friends and he told me previously that he hadn’t had sex for a year before me. I trust him and have trusted him with sensitive information about me. He said he didn’t have condoms and I told him I was on birth control (IUD). I just assumed that if there was more to it, it would have been discussed.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? INTENSE attraction, first and foremost…and, believe it or not, more intimacy between my husband and I. Once that ball starts rolling it’s hard to stop! One of the big reasons we have an open thing is that when we’re done with other people, we have crazy awesome sex afterwords. Like you wouldn’t believe! When you are with one person for a long time you have to keep things interesting to keep up a good sex life. Not to mention that when we venture out  it gives us each a huge self-esteem boost to know that others find us desirable.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Yes. Mike likes to have a couple beers at night so he had those, and there was, like, three or so bowls of marijuana that we smoked. I like to smoke before I have sex, that’s just how I sexily roll!

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? On the way home my mind was racing, my legs were rubber and I was biting my fist. I felt so damn good and I couldn’t wait to get home to my kinky husband to tell him the details and have more sex while I was still up, so to speak. I still hope to have semi-regular sex with Mike and I hope that he doesn’t end up wanting a more serious relationship. I made it perfectly clear that while I may like him or even feel love feelings, (I feel love toward him as my good friend, anyway, as well as love for all people really) my husband is forever my soulmate. (And that means a lot since neither I nor my husband even believe in souls.)

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Obviously I told my husband, and his reaction was popping a massive boner. c: I told my best friend because she’s probably the only other person I could tell that will not judge me. You may or may not be surprised about the amount of shit you can catch for having this type of relationship and people’s unwillingness to even understand. My bestie reacted with interest in my story and with a little shock as to what kind of guy I find attractive. (What can I say, I like what I like!) Anyway it was just nice to have someone else to tell.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes very much so! Mike had made it clear that he thought I was hot even in our early friendship. I felt like a god damned teenager, I tell ya! It kicked all kinds of ass. He said sex with me was awesome because of my soft body and my hands. For some reason that compliment really resonated with me, lol.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Not in the least!

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing I think were the sexy feels. The worst was his poor image of himself and his insecurity with something he shouldn’t be burdened with anyway, vis-a-vis my lack of orgasm. Prior to this hook up, all the rest that weren’t with my husband, everyone involved was very drunk. A little more intimate that what I’m familiar with, and I loved it. I’m confident that I can keep having casual sex with others while maintaining my deep love for my husband. I definitely feel hotter and more sexy! With my sex life in line I find I have more desire to do other things I love, like learning something new or reconnecting with people I don’t talk to ask much anymore, taking care of my husband and child, or just anything else that I lose enthusiasm for from time to time. (I don’t have a formal depression diagnoses, but it’s strongly suspected by myself and everyone who knows me.) I realized that one can have chemical love without pursuing a deeper relationship. I’m already familiar, however, with the fact that chemical love fades quickly and after that relationships require serious commitment and, dare I say, work, to hold together! I have a ten year relationship with my husband and no desire to find anyone else to live my life with. With that acknowledged I will continue to be a married slut.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? 1. When I say a little negative, even that feels like too much! Like I said I just don’t want the orgasm thing to get in the way, and that’s the only negative thing I can think of.
2. I find this research fascinating and illuminating. I hope more people can end up feeling more free about their sexuality, as it makes not only sex, but other aspects of self fall into place easier.

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