What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 40
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Attorney
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Craigslist actually worked, at least once
How long ago did this hookup happen? 9 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I don’t remember too well. I think she was a little plump but did not have the larger breasts I would have expected. I think she might have looked slightly Asian. I met her on Craigslist in the casual encounters section. I had posted something along the lines of nice guy looking to talk about sex. (I think I have posted many different things on Craigslist. I think she sent me a picture by email. I sent her one. I can’t remember if the pictures were clothed or not.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I forget exactly what was said but she invited me to her city which was an hour away. I said sure. I drove up that evening (I think, it might have been the next evening). We met at her apartment around dusk. I am pretty sure it was not winter. I had her apartment number. I remember I left my wallet in the car in case I was to be mugged.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We talked on the couch for a bit. Eventually, I think I asked if I could touch her breasts. I did and we started kissing really hard and we took off our clothes. She gave me oral sex which did not lead to orgasm which I think disappointed her. I wish I had had Viagra back then. While I was not able to maintain well, I used my fingers on her and she was very orgasmic. I did not feel like I wanted to give her oral sex so I did not. My fingers were doing a great job. I think I tried to have vaginal sex but I did not stay hard very long. Eventually, I think I masturbated to an orgasm. I can’t remember if I used porn to help. At this point in my life, I had never had an orgasm from oral or manual stimulation by another person. We slept some and I left in the morning. We maintained some contact but it was not repeated.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We communicated the next day. I thought that maybe it could be something that could happen again. Overall I thought it was a great experience.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? I don’t know
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I did not talk to anyone at the time except maybe my men’s group. The group is always supportive no matter what.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It gave me a real boost. I had been divorced for 4 years and had no other relationships (or hook ups or anything). This was a good thing. I still did not have a relationship for another 4 years (or hookups, or anything)
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I wish I could have had an orgasm while she was giving me oral sex. She seemed like she was proud of her skills and was disappointed it did not work.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I am fine with casual sex. I just rarely find myself in a situation where it could happen. I am relatively passive and need real encouragement from my partner.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I wish it was more common. I find that online dating is really ruined by the creeps who can send so many rude emails to so many women. I still don’t know how to impress women online. I am a great guy but don’t get many contacts. I think women want taller men generally. I am 5′ 6″.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? OK
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