What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 18
What’s your race/ethnicity? Southeast Asian
What continent do you live on? Asia
What country and/or city do you live in? India
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Hindu
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Gay/lesbian
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? A month ago
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was already in a committed relationship at that time when I met this guy. I met him on Grindr, the gay dating app. I was looking for some like-minded people to talk to so that I can say whatever is in my heart to some anonymous person, which is a good practice, I guess.
This guy, Ro, was a kind of weird. For a day or two we had a good conversation without knowing with whom we are talking to. We had just seen a picture of one another. He was quite handsome. As I was talking to him, I felt like meeting him and he was insisting on it too. In the beginning, we were having a good conversation and had shared our life experiences, regarding almost all the spheres of life, like study, travel, sexual experiences, boyfriends, and ex-boyfriends. I felt attracted to him.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hook up was surely unplanned. It just happened and I don’t know how. One day when we were talking on Grindr, Ro asked me for nudes. I denied. He started ignoring me after that, but after one day, he replied. After that, we planned to meet somewhere casually. I’m a foodie, so I invited him to a nearby marketplace which was midway between both of our places. But he made an excuse that he couldn’t miss a movie on TV. So he asked me to come to his place. I don’t know whether it was all his plan or not, but he came to get me at his nearest bus stand. I found him a little shorter than me and older too. He is 26 and his face clearly tells his age. After that, we reached his room and since he owned a room only, which has a kitchen and a bathroom attached to it, there was only a single bed in his room to sit or lay down on, so we sat on his bed facing toward the TV. We were watching the movie. We had talked earlier, and I had already told him that I was not looking for sex. And he totally agreed to it. He started playing with my fingers, and I resisted at the beginning. Then, he was like you denied having sex let me at least touch your hand. Then, I permitted him to do that. After a few minutes, he requested me to let him lay over my chest. At first, I denied but he was successful in convincing me. And he took my shirt off and laid over my chest. Then, he also took off his shirt, held my hands, put them on his back, and faked that he was sleeping. I was watching the movie, and I started moving my fingers through his hair which I usually did with my boyfriend. I don’t know why, but we both were hard. Well, I am not sure about him, but I sure was.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As he was laying over my chest, he gave flying kisses toward my dick. And after a few minutes, he slowly moves down to kissing my dick from over the pants. After that, he insisted for me to take off my pants and underwear too. I denied. But after around 30 minutes, he convinced me to take them off. He also took his pants and underwear off. We were naked and hard but had self-control. After that, he just hugged me tight and laid there on his bed with me naked. Our dicks were creating a kind of awkwardness down there. I guess, it was I who lost at that point. His body reminded me of my ex-boyfriend; I was like ‘what the fuck’ for a moment. Then, he asked my permission to suck my dick. I granted. He sucked my dick for around 10 minutes, and after that, as I was about to fuck his ass, I got soft. I was like ‘what the fuck just happened’. He said that it was okay and that we should grab some food. After having lunch together, we came back to his place. This time, I gave him a blowjob, and as he was about to insert his dick in my ass, he came! The cum was all over my ass, and he cleaned it and apologized for what had just happened. Surely, he was a good person and very polite towards me. He gave me proper treatment as I was at his place. Maybe I don’t wish to have any kind of hook up with him ever again, but he’ll surely be my good friend. He is definitely a good lover. He is a very sensitive kind of guy. After what all had happened, we went back to his room and things picked uo again. This time, he was laying on his back, and I was teasing his ears with my tongue. And he came again without any kind of maturation or anything but just from the licking of his ears. After that, we both laughed so hard that we fell off the bed. Then, we cleaned the mess we created, and he walked me to the bus stand and waited with me until the bus came. As I said, he is a good guy.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? It was the first time at I had cheated on the person I’m was in a relationship with, and I think Ro was worth of it. No, I didn’t have an orgasm, but I was very much satisfied. After that, we became friends on Facebook, and we usually talk as normal friends. It felt good to be with him. We talked enough, and I shared a few things with him that I can never with my boyfriend. Last week though, I broke up with my boyfriend, Bran. Though he was caring and loving, one afternoon with Ro taught me something about my relationship. I didn’t have an orgasm with Ro, but I was happy about it. And secondly, his body resembles that of my first boyfriend which is now my ex. I want someone to be in my life who is a mixture of my first boyfriend, who is my true love, my second, or we can say my last boyfriend, and this guy Ro with whom I hooked up. I see a great friendship potential with him. I feel it was a cute mistake. Cute because I loved it and him too. And mistake because it was a hookup after all. I broke the trust of Bran even when he trusted me the most.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, I didn’t want it but was unable to stop it
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I didn’t tell anyone about it. Since I’m gay and I’m not open to anybody, I don’t have anyone with whom I can share this.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I shouldn’t have broken the trust Bran (my boyfriend at the time of hookup) had always laid in me.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? He was caring, cute, shy, romantic, and polite. It is not the sex that made this memorable, but it is the person who makes this unforgettable.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That I failed to have an orgasm. And I got soft when I was about to fuck him.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yup. Ro told me not to trust everyone, and I think he is right. One shouldn’t have sex with unknown people. Hookups may turn into blunder if the person has some bad motives, but it could also turn into an unforgettable past, like with Ro. After this hookup, I became more confident, and I got to know that one can be satisfied without an orgasm if the partner is right. I learned to love myself. The more you love yourself the more people will love you.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Causal sex is an important element of your life. It helps you to grow and experience different things, some good and some bad. It helps you become more confident and helps to love youself more. But we must try to stay as conscious as we can to prevent any kind of mishap. Always remember: it is either an enthusiastic yes or a firm no; don’t hesitate to speak up, and outside hookups are the main cause of breakups. I caught my first boyfriend with someone else and we broke up. And this time I cheated on Bran, so I decided to break up with him. Be truthful to the person you are in a relationship with.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Good initiative.
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