What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? Mixed / Multiracial
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Barista
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly gay/lesbian
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Homoflexible
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Dirty Dressing Room Secret

How long ago did this hookup happen? May 2015

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a 5’11” Dominican guy, about 20 years old with curly dark hair and warm brown eyes. He was somewhere between “a little chubby” and “ripped” if that makes any sense. Of course, I’d never reveal his real name, but for the sake of this story, I’ll call him “Oliver.”

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Funny story: we were working together on a play where we played husband and wife. Our onstage chemistry translated into offstage chemistry, and it ended up being a thing that just happened. In the time, we spent at rehearsals together, Oliver and I became pretty close friends, texting each other a lot and starting inside jokes. Slowly the friendly texts turned flirty and we physically started to grow closer (we started holding hands, cuddling, hugging, etc., but we never had any kind of sexual contact).
One day in the dressing room of the theatre, we cuddled on a bed (a set piece we used for our play) like we normally did, but something was different. Instead of the usual spooning, he faced me and wrapped his arms around me, keeping his eyes locked on mine. I was confused; despite all the flirting, I never thought Oliver actually had feelings for me of any kind. But alas, when I least expected it, he pulled me into a kiss, one with more passion than any we’d shared before. It was no longer for an audience, but he still gave a great performance.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The kissing got hotter and heavier, and his hands started to explore my body. His lips made their way to my neck and collarbone while his fingers clawed at the hem of my shirt, desperate to find more skin to taste. I wanted nothing more than to keep going, but I stopped him. I was worried that someone could’ve walked into the dressing room at any moment and the word would spread through the theatre department like wildfire. Oliver, being the relaxed, fun-loving guy that he was, simply got up and locked the door of the room before returning to the bed and climbing on top of me. While a part of me was still anxious that we’d be caught with our pants down (pun intended), my worries melted away when I felt his body pressed against mine. Before I knew it, I was helping him slip my pants off my legs and Oliver decided to slip his hand into my panties and get his fingers wet. He kissed my neck as he massaged my clit and I couldn’t help shaking from the pleasure. This was my first time having any kind of sexual contact with anyone in about 15 months, so it was pretty intense for me. I fought hard to stay as silent as possible, but a few soft moans and shallow pants escaped my lips despite my best efforts. I got very close, feeling as though I was going to gush all over his hand at any moment… but then we heard someone knock on the door and jiggle the handle. I sprung up, scrambling for my pants on the floor and wrenching them on before opening the dressing door as casually as I could. Oliver wiped his hand on his pants, attempting to hide the evidence. I’m positive that everyone who saw that it was Oliver and me behind the locked door alone together knew exactly what had been going on, but goddamn, it was worth it. Unfortunately, I didn’t climax myself, but Oliver proceeded to run to the restroom because he came in his pants. Oops!

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt guilty afterward; one of my other close friends (let’s call her “Norma”) admitted to me that she’d fallen for Oliver, and yet I proceeded to get involved with him. But on the other hand, it was exciting to hook up with someone (this was my first time having a sexual encounter outside of a relationship) and the experience left me craving more of him. I didn’t think we’d ever date or be exclusive to each other, but I hoped with every bone in my body that I’d get to fool around with Oliver again. Now, over two years later, we are both in monogamous relationships, but Oliver was a great friend and an amazing lover (we did hook up several times after this rendezvous in the dressing room). If I had the chance to hook up with him again, I’d take it without a second thought.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), I was feeling lonely, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told a couple other close friends (I’ll call them “Ellie” and “Trevor”), and they saw it coming from a hundred miles away. I don’t think anyone in the theatre department was surprised after the convincing performance we gave in the play. Everyone saw the intimacy, it seemed like it was bound to happen at one point or another.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The adrenaline. It was something that we shouldn’t have been doing at all, but we went with it anyway.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? We got interrupted. Otherwise, I probably would have climaxed.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes; after this experience, I became more open to the idea of casual sex. I also learned that I might not be 100% exclusively attracted to women, and I’ve learned to accept that about myself.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? As I said before, this was only the first encounter with Oliver. We ended up meeting several more times over the past couple years, and I’ve really enjoyed my time with him. Maybe I’ll post another story about Oliver here in the future…

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex (and non-monogamy in general) needs to not be stigmatized. We’re all human, and most humans have sexual urges. If two consenting adults are having fun and not breaking any laws, what’s wrong with it? I’d like if society got less judgmental about casual sex and non-monogamy.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s fun, I’m really fun I happened upon it.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!