Highest education received: High school diploma
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Gay
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Not out
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? About one year ago
How would you best classify this hookup? One night stand
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met him online. I’m a tall white man, him a short black man. We messaged a fair bit before we met on base. He wasn’t exactly my type, but I continued because I had never had sex before and wanted to try it, at 25 years old, I figured it was an experience I should have.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? After we met, we went back to his place. We got some wine, but had barely begun to drink it when he beckoned me to the bedroom.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He seemed eager to begin. We made out as we undressed. I did feel some want to disengage, my mind and body really weren’t entirely comfortable, but I continued. I went down to give him a blow job. As I was working, he kept trying to force my head down, which was honestly flat out annoying. I don’t like being handled like that. I was also annoyed when he refused to reciprocate, given that I’d been very cooperative so far. Yet, I continued. He put on a condom and I bent over the bed. He put his dick in my ass and began to go to town. He was jerky and uncoordinated, either due to like inexperience or just too excited. I jerked myself off while he pounded away. I finished a bit before him, but I really wasn’t all that happy about it. It all felt mechanical, there was no chemistry. To me, he was a selfish lover, and that kind of killed the experience for me. After he wanted to cuddle, I didn’t, but did because, I don’t know, I thought it would be bad form to shoot and leave, I wanted to end it on cordial terms. Later, I left.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? He used a condom and we both discussed our status and tests.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was a virgin who didn’t want to be.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Very little wine.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He wouldn’t stop messaging me for about a month, despite me making it clear before hand if we met, it was likely to be a one time deal. We passed each other on base for a while, from time to time. He apparently had a good time, he was being quite lovey dovey.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Consensual
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Yes and no. I regret the choice of partner, we had little in common and he was not nearly my type. I like men to be men, and he was a bit too feminine and emotional for me.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? There really wasn’t a best part, other than I have another experience under my belt. I did learn some lessons, though. The worst was the utter lack in chemistry for me, and he was too clumsy in bed. The hookup did actually solidify my views on casual sex though. I think it’s perfectly natural for two people to meet, bone, and part ways. You have to still be careful, though, and most of all, SAFE!
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? In the future, I will have to be sure that when I hook up with someone, we are both clear on what we expect of each other, before, during, and after. It keeps everyone safe and happy, otherwise it could turn into a bad situation.