by Jacrou

Gender: Female
Age: 45
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: New Zealand
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Company Director
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 31
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 5

Disaster

How long ago did this hookup happen? 18 years ago

How would you best classify this hookup? one night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was in Paris at the start of a 2 month Europe trip with one of my best friends and her ex-boyfriend (although they hooked up occasionally – they could share their story if they get round to it!).

We are from New Zealand and our country’s rugby team was playing France in Paris so lots and lots of New Zealanders had descended on Paris.

It was a very strange day.  Like many of the NZ visitors to Paris we started drinking early in the day, cheap French red wine.  There was also a lot of tension in Paris around the rugby game as the French were at this time conducting nuclear testing in the Pacific which many NZers were protesting about.  There was a big police presence and they were being quite tough on the crowd. When we went into the stadium we were searched and under our jackets we were wearing T-shirts which had a picture of a bomb on it.  The French police confiscated our T-shirts so my friend and I went into the game wearing only our bras, jeans and a jacket.  It was very weird and we were very drunk.  It definitely contributed to a generally crazy air around the whole day.  

NZ won the game, after initially being behind, and the NZers were drunk and ecstatic. We went to party at a bar near the stadium and there were lots and lots of other NZers there. One of them I met was a really nice NZ man, from the same city as me, but currently living in London.  He just had a really nice air about him. He was dark haired, brown eyed with olive skin, good looking in a guy next door kind of way.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was very drunk (too drunk) so I can’t really remember how it all started.  I know we were kissing and making out at the bar, and then I took him back to our hotel room. I told my friends not to come back for a couple of hours.  He was really drunk too.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? When we got there, we stripped off and got into the bed, kissing and touching each other. But he was having a really hard time maintaining an erection. He managed to get it up a few times, then we’d start to try having intercourse then he’d go soft again. He was really embarrassed. I was trying to help him out but I was too drunk to be of much use and no doubt was doing a very poor job.

After quite a while of struggling with this, he managed to get a decent erection going.  He was pretty pleased about this and entered me and started thrusting.  As soon as his body was on top of me and there was the movement of his thrusting I started to feel really really ill.  I tried really hard to fight it because I knew how hard it had been to get this going, but in the end I couldn’t stop it and I had to push him off and run into the bathroom to throw up in the toilet.  I was violently ill there for a while, and when I got back he was completely soft again.  I apologised and lay down, thinking that would be that, then I saw he was working on his erection again, I said: you still want to?? and he said yes, so I tried to help him out again thinking maybe this night was salvageable after all.  

Anyway, unbelievably, he managed to get it up another time, which we were both happy about, and then he got on top of me and entered me again, but after a couple of thrusts he stopped and looked down and I did too, and my period had started and there was blood everywhere. 

It was just too much for both of us and we gave up completely. We lay there for a bit and actually had a cuddle and a bit of a laugh because the whole thing had been just disastrous. Eventually it was almost the time when my friends were going to be back so he got up and got dressed. 

As he was leaving, I thought what the heck, and asked him for his number, saying I could maybe call him in London. It may seem weird, but I thought that he was a really nice guy and how well he’d handled that whole miserable scene just proved that more.  I thought that if we weren’t too drunk, maybe it would be good between us.  He looked surprised but gave it to me. I don’t know if he was just being nice or if he would’ve been receptive to me calling him because I later lost the number and have never seen or heard of him since.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? none at all.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? attraction, drunkenness, over-excitement from a big crazy day

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? yes alcohol. Way way too much alcohol.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt a bit embarrassed about the whole thing.  It really couldn’t have gone much worse.  At the time I thought there was a slim chance that if I got in touch with him again, we might have a chance to try again and this time succeed, but I wasn’t overly concerned about whether that might happen or not.

Much later on, I had a period of time worrying about how embarrassing it would be if I were to bump into him back in NZ in our home city.  He was a professional like me, same age, so thought that could easily happen.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to my friend I was travelling with and told her the whole story as she is extremely non-judgmental and not easily shocked or grossed out. She thought it was quite funny.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? yes

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Somewhat. It didn’t really add anything and was a bit embarrassing for both of us.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Err…. nothing much good. I suppose it would have been worse if he hadn’t actually been a nice guy. 
Worst: embarrassment.

It didn’t change the way I thought about casual sex, other than to reinforce that it isn’t a good idea to drink too much before having sex.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

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