What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 31
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Baltimore
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? saled
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? normal?
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 60?
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Doctors’ Christmas Party
How long ago did this hookup happen? 8 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met the older doctor through a mutual friend. He had a good job — anesthesiologist — was reasonably attractive and had recently divorced. I met him one time prior to the Christmas party. He seemed smart and funny….but, a little bit on the nerdy side of things.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He invited me to his work holiday party. I was surprised, since we’d just met, but said I’d go. He picked me up and it felt like a standard date. I assumed that, because it was a work party with a bunch of docs, it would be a pretty tame event. Nope. People began drinking pretty heavily and I followed suit. We got in the car for him to drive me home and he said he was “too drunk to drive to my house, but could make it to his house.” I knew what was happening and just figured, “oh well…ok…”
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We got to his room at his house and he took my clothes off. We had sex — nothing out of the ordinary. I faked an orgasm — there is no way that’s going to really happen after drinking that much and being with someone for the first time. He seemed to enjoy things and I think I “put on a good show.” In the morning, he drove me home and seemed sort of uncomfortable….but maybe slightly excited by it. And I was kind of over it.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He asked me to dinner and wanted to pursue things. I wasn’t interested.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal
What were your motives for this hookup? Intoxication, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Friends. Not much of a response. Just sort of “meh, ok. Are you going to see him again?”
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? Just sort of pointless. I didn’t really know a polite way to get out of it though. I could have called an uber, but that would have been a clear “i’m not interested in you” and I wasn’t sure at the time.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? haha nothing? just typical hookup
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Some guy who I’m not interested got to be with me.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I wish I could say I learned something, because it’s definitely not something I’m like “YAY! let’s do that again” about… But, I don’t know that I would handle it any differently next time. Maybe not get as drunk? But, that’s unlikely when everyone else is drinking heavily and having fun.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
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